I haven't officially complained about things that annoy me since February 16th so this post about annoyances is clearly long over due.
In my quest for continuous improvement as a human being, I am going to make a vow to try my hardest to omit a few phrases from my vocabulary (including tweets and status updates.)
Why? Because when I hear people constantly use these two expressions it makes me want to pull a Hamlet's father's evil brother and dump poison in my ears.
And, even worse, there is now twitter and facebook where ANYONE can publish ANYTHING at ANYTIME (Let's be honest, I have a blog, the internet is not selective in it's publishing process.)
So, I am forced to read these two annoying phrases, too. Which makes me want to pull an Oedipus. Or King Lear. Or the three mice running after the farmer's wife. A special thanks to the theme of blindness in literature for giving me an abundant of characters to choose from.
What phrases you ask? Well they are two, but mean they mean essentially the same thing:
1. "No Offense": [comes before offending content] This is used more commonly in dialogue, and basically means "I am about to be rude, but, hopefully these two words at the beginning of my sentence make you not notice..."
ex. "No offense, but I would rather die than wear that sweater you have on."
2. "Just Sayin" [comes after offending content] Used more in tweets/statuses. Basically means "I just said something rude, but am putting this two-word phrase at the end of my rude tweet to cover my ass." Also, you are almost never saying something just to say it. There is almost always a reason so don't pretend there isn't! If you actually don't have a reason for saying something - maybe you should stop talking!
ex. "I don't see why fat girls wear leggings. Just sayin"
The thing with both of these phrases? They are almost always in offending/rude sentences. So no, I am not blinded by your vocabulary magic trick. I am not fooled by you inserting two extra words to try to come off as nicer than you are. And I know I say these occasionally too, but I'm really going to try to stop ever saying them because the fact that i wrote this post in like 7 minutes really shows how much I dislike them! Glad to get that off my chest :)
By the way, I got a beautiful pleasant surprise in the mail today: