As Stephen King emphasized in his amazing book, if you want to be a writer, you need to read a lot and write a lot. But, sometimes, one must do other things. Take laundry, for example. Or dishes. It's nearly impossible to read or write while washing dishes! That's where listening comes in. And, although my go-to is audio books I've recently been exploring the world of podcasts, and found one I'm really excited about and wanted to share with fellow writers: Grammar Girl Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing!

I highly recommend this podcast. Her episodes vary in length, but are relatively short—usually between 10 and 15 minutes, which I really enjoy. Even in such a short time, I always feel like I learn a lot!

She generally begins her episodes with "Quick and Dirty tips" where she answers sent-in grammar questions. For example, is it band together or ban together? When you're using and/or as a subject, should the verb be singular or plural? And so on. I enjoy this part because I feel it helps me improve both my writing and speaking. Sure, if you're writing a book an editor will likely catch grammatical errors—but isn't it nice to feel you know as much as an editor? And to feel more confident when speaking?

Often, episodes continue with "meaty middles" which generally delve into ways to improve your writing, like understanding parallelism or story structure. I particularly liked Episode 473 from July 9, "How Understanding Toy Story Can Help You Get Into College" which went into how most Disney/Pixar movies follow the same story structure. She used great examples!

Then, she generally ends with a fun language tidbit, usually about the origin of an idiom. For example, did you know the term "following suit" stems from card games?

Her podcasts are incredibly well-researched—she'll often read excerpts from books or speeches, and gather advice from linguists if she needs to. Overall, I love this podcast because it makes me feel smarter. If you are one of those lucky people who avoids doing laundry and dishes at all costs, it would be a fun thing to listen to while driving :) Check it out on iTunes or on the Podcast app on your iPhone!

Any other podcasts I should check out?

p.s. Advice on Writing Volumes one, two, three, and four.

Read This: On Writing by Stephen King

The joys of reading an author writing about writing were revealed to me when I read Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird and loved it. So, I was itching to get my hand on a copy of Stephen King's book, which so many other authors had recommended reading in the FAQ section of their websites. I've never read any King, because I am SUCH a scaredy cat when it comes to all things horror. (Embarrassing, yes. But I'll have nightmares for weeks that are no joke!) So, I was a tad hesitant to even read this book but I thought...how scary can writing be? :)

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King

Stephen King approached this book in a completely different way than Lamott approached hers. Whereas Lamott's mixed writing advice and life advice all at once (and contained beautiful metaphors), King split things up. The first chunk of the book (labeled C.V.) reads like a memoir (which I loved! See here, here, and here for proof of my memoir obsession).

King had a fascinating childhood and is (duh) a very good storyteller so his childhood/early writer and recovering alcoholic stories flew by. The origin story of Carrie, his first successful book, is incredible. (Hint: his wife is a pivotal player in getting him to write the book that ultimately launched his career.)

Then comes a section entitled "Toolbox" where he talks about assembling your writer's tool box filled with things like vocabulary ("the bread of all writing") and grammar, and elements of style (for which he highly recommends this book by Strunk and White).

Grammar tips from King range from relatively basic "avoid the passive tense" to hilarious "I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs" (especially adverbs that attribute dialogue.)

Once he's covered the necessary tools, King moves onto the most lengthy part of his book: On Writing. He delves into things from dialogue to plot to character to theme to writing method. One of my favorite parts of the book is King pulls examples from all different kinds of books, so you can dissect different writer's choices.

A few favorite parts:

"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There's no way around these two things that I'm aware of, no shortcut."

King says he writes 2000 words a day, and recommends new writers start with at least 1000 words a day, and can take one day off a week. 

King compares writing fiction to extracting a fossil from the earth. The story is there you just need to patiently find it. He very much prefers character-driven not plot-driven stories. He says using plot to get your story is like using a jackhammer to get your fossil. Sure, you'll get it, but it won't be pretty. Personally, I love this analogy. He is very anti-outline, thinking you should listen to your characters above all else, and I am finding this to be true for me in my writing as well. (And consistent with what Anne Lamott said in Bird by Bird.)

Overall, I felt like I learned SO much from reading this book, and this review (obviously) just grazed the surface. If you are an aspiring writer: read this book! And let me know what you think :)

p.s. Some more Advice on Writing, if you're interested.

Advice on Writing, Volume 4

For me, trying to write every day is a bit like trying to run everyday.

Some days, when I lace up my shoes and go for a run I naturally have an energized stride. I zip along in cruise control, getting lost in the music and the scenery and my thoughts. Before I know it, one, then two, then three miles are behind me! I did it. And all at a respectable pace (for me).

(Photo from my instagram)

Most days are not like that.

Most days, running feels a bit more step by step. With every stride, I'm constantly reminding myself, "pick your knees up higher, keep breathing, keep going." With every ten steps, I'm wondering how far I've gone.....It's only been a half a mile?! Step. I've been running forever. Step, step. Will I ever be done running? Step. Can I actually survive three miles? Step, step. What's the point of running anyway? Step.

Writing is like this for me, as well.

Some days, it seems I'm a well of ideas, and the words flow out of me. The blank page beckons my thoughts, my sentences, my paragraphs, my entire chapters. I was born to get the words onto the page. The very words, surely, have been dormant inside of me for years, and are now eager to get out, to form insightful sentences and compelling stories. Nothing could be more natural.

Most days are not like that.

Most days, writing feels a bit more word by word, sentence by sentence. It is unduly difficult to extract each word from my brain and then transcribe it to the page. It's a bit like writing calligraphy with my left hand. In Arabic.

The path between my head and my typing hands seems impossibly long. And are the words any good, anyway? Sentence. Where am I going with this? Sentence. I'll probably just have to scrap this whole chapter. Sentence. Or maybe this whole book. Sentence. I'm hungry. Sentence. Maybe I should start job searching online. Sentence. But who would ever hire me anyway? Sentence.

So, I suppose my amateur unsolicited advice is this: Get through the bad days. Better yet, embrace them. Despite how painful they can be, they are the very days that will lead you to the good ones. Maybe you have to write eight terrible paragraphs to lead you to one beautiful sentence. Maybe you have to write an entire bad book to lead you to an okay one. Whatever you do, don't stop.

And, when you can't possibly write another word, when you are absolutely certain you will never again be able to form a coherent sentence on the page—go for a run. Seriously.

p.s. The book all aspiring writers should read.
p.p.s. Advice on writing, volumes one, two, and three.

Read This: Bird by Bird

If you are writing, or dream of writing, anything, ever—a book, a short story, a blog post, an article— I now have one resounding piece of advice for you: read this book.

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

I cannot stress this enough. A friend recommended this book to me, and I didn't think much of it. Then, I saw a woman toting it around at a writing workshop in Milwaukee but had more important things to consider (like pitching!), of course. Then, I was re-reading Jennifer Weiner's advice to writers when I noticed that she, too, highly praises this book, calling it "utterly indispensable." Then, and only then, did I put myself on the wait list for it at the library.

If you have any writing goals—be ye not so thickheaded. I only wish I would have sprinted to the bookstore the second I quit my job in October and immediately purchased this book.

In Bird by Bird Lamott offers tangible writing advice: encouraging you to write short assignments and sh*tty first drafts, find loyal test readers, join a writing group, start from the beginning of your childhood and write everything, write letters for inspiration, and on and on. I came away with so many concrete ways to motivate myself to write more! That, in and of itself, made it worth the read.

But she doesn't stop there. She uses countless analogies that really get to the core of what writing—and what life—feels like. Lamott writes with a beautiful balance of honesty and humor.

One of my favorite lines, from her chapter on jealousy:

"But if you continue to write, you are probably going to have to deal with it, because some wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen for some of the most awful, angry, underserving writers you know—people who are, in other words, not you."

She also offers insights about writing that make you feel like she's secretly moved into your head. Her wisdom on listening to your characters hit home with me. She talks about writing towards a scene/moment and then getting to that very moment and realizing that the moment doesn't work. I had just written four chapters up to "the moment" in my newest book, and was struggling with how "the moment" didn't make sense anymore. To her, that's perfectly fine. Thank you, Anne, for chiming in at the right time to tell me that I'm not, in fact, crazy. Or, rather, that I may be crazy but in very good company. :)

She shares gems of wisdom that she shares with her writing classes, including this quote, which is now written in sharpie and hanging on a piece of paper glamorously taped to my closet:

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night, you can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." —E.L. Doctorow

Now isn't that a beautiful analogy about both writing and life? Obviously, I am unable to read this through a lens of someone who is not writing. So it's hard for me to say with 100% confidence that you'll enjoy it if you don't have any plans of writing anything ever, BUT I still think you will. (And, I think there's a good chance you'll want to write something, at some point.) Lamott's analogies about life really rang true for me, even in a non-writing context.

So, go read it and let me know what you think! I'm planning on purchasing a copy (after the dreaded end-of-July move) and reading it again—it was bursting with valuable insights, from writing dialogue to plot to set design to publication and on and on!

Have you read any of Anne Lamott's books? I already bought Rosie because I found it at a used bookstore, and can't wait to read it! 

Also, do you know of any more writers-on-writing books that you recommend? I'm now obsessed with this genre, because when I took a break from writing to read  Bird by Bird I felt no guilt at all since I was practically still working on my writing, after all.

Two Poems on Love That Should be Read at More Weddings

Perhaps this title induced many an eye roll, but I couldn't resist. I recently stumbled across two different poems on love, and I'm kind of obsessed with both of them.

You know how everyone always reads the same passage about love at weddings? Love is patient, love is kind....etc. The youth-group going girl I was knows it's from 1 Corinthians 13, of course. Well, don't get me wrong, I like that passage—it's just, it makes love sound a little unattainable to me. Patient, kind, keeps no record of wrong, doesn't boast, is not rude, is not self-seeking? Shoot.

I mean, let's start at the very beginning. If love is patient, count me out.

I can't wait in a long grocery store line without plotting the ultimate demise of every shopper in front of me. And don't get me started on driving. (I'm looking at you, Wisconsin!) I said it a long time ago, but I'm considering writing a book called "If You're Going 57 mph Get the %$@! out of the Passing Lane, and Other Pearls of Wisdom to Live By."

Anyway, love poems.

I'm going to let these poems speak for themselves, rather than bore you with English-major dissections of each of them ;)

The first one I stumbled across on Design for Mankind (a wonderful blog, in my opinion) in this post.

THE PATIENCE OF ORDINARY THINGS
By Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they're supposed to be.
I've been thinking about the patience 
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish, 
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?


The second one is included in the book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott which I'm currently reading and loving.

THE WILD ROSE
by Wendell Berry

Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,

Suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,

and once again I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.

Wouldn't it be lovely to hear one of these read at a wedding? I think so. Any other great love poems you'd like to share? I'm always on the look out.

Advice on Writing, Vol. 3

"Now, everyone always asks me what the secret to great writing is," Chuck Sambuchino began at the end of an all-day writing conference in Milwaukee. My ears perked up, "And for the first five years of working for Writer's Digest I honestly answered 'There is no secret.'" My ears perked down. (Is that a thing?)

"But, I've worked there for ten years now, and in the last five years, I've noticed something. A distinguishing 'secret' so-to-speak that sets apart wanna-be writers from actual writers. I also know that, from teaching this workshop many times, that this is the piece of advice you are most likely to ignore."

What is it? Whatisit? WHAT IS IT?

"The secret to writing is to put down the remote."

Womp, womp.

Of course, he had a point. He had THE point, really. Great writers make time for writing. You make time for writing by taking time you are spending on something else (cough *bingewatchingshows* cough) and repurposing that precious time for writing.

I did smile a little when he said 'put down the remote' because it seemed just a tad out-dated to me. Remote? I hardly use a remote. We don't even have cable (Just Netflix & an ESPN/HBO password). The remote is not my arch nemesis when it comes to writing. I still have one, though. It's smaller than the remote and much more powerful. Enter: the iPhone.

So, I started doing this incredibly bizarre thing when I want to write, uninterrupted. Turning off my iPhone, and turning off the internet.

Wait? The internet? Don't you need it to research? 

Short answer: No, not really.

I keep a pen and paper by me where I write down any questions I want to look up later online. I use a thesaurus (a real paper one!) if needed. Sounds crazy, but the benefits (uninterrupted writing time) far outweigh the costs (can't Google something in the name of "research"). From experience, 'researching' online seldom leads to great ground-breaking content for my book and often leads to me reading the entire life story of Laura Ingalls Wilder and the backstories of all the actors/actresses on Little House on the Prairie for no reason whatsoever.

Often, I give myself a one or two-hour all writing, no phone, no internet block. Even better if I'm in a public place (coffee shop) so I can't spend the entire 2 hours petting Tywin.

My only goal now is to do this much more often. I think if I did this four of five times a week I would be much more productive as a writer.

I do think this advice applies to really any goal, not just writing. For example, if you want to be an amazing cook? Put down the remote/iPhone. Do you want to be an amazing runner? An amazing singer? An amazing piano player? An amazing yogi? :) The opportunities are endless.

Do you have any good tips for making writing time or controlling iPhone addictions? Would love to hear!

P.s. I found this Lively Show on How to Get the Most out of your Fringe Hours helpful!
P.p.s. Writing advice from Cheryl Strayed.

How to pitch a book

I drove over to the Milwaukee Writing Workshop on Friday, where I attended a day-long class by Chuck Sambuchino of Writer's Digest, and pitched to two agents at the end of the day. I'm looking forward to sharing some writing advice from Chuck later in the week (he offered many great tips!) but today, I wanted to talk about pitching your book to an agent. Talking about your book is a critical step in publishing a book—so practice, practice, practice (on anyone who will listen!) and get comfortable answering questions about it.

Pitching is a peculiar thing — it's exactly what you think it is, unless you're thinking about baseball, in which case, it's kind of like that, too. You throw your idea at an agent, who sits across the table from you, and strategically decides if they're going to take a swing at your idea, or not. If the rumors are true, usually agents choose to stand at the plate and watch your idea land in the catcher's mitt that's already overflowing with book ideas which weren't swing-worthy.

I would imagine the success rate for an agent hitting your pitch is lower than the .333 batting average which earns a hitter respect. Of course when pitching your book, you desperately want the agent to "take a swing" at and, if you're really lucky, "hit" your book idea, so there the baseball analogy fails. (Thank goodness, it was already quite the stretch ;)

You are the pitcher, who WANTS to be hit, which makes no sense. Just another time sport jargon fails to translate into real life.

Tangent: My favorite example of sports jargon failing is "par." In golf, of course, you WANT to be below par, but—in life—deeming a restaurant or hotel "sub-par" is decidedly a bad review. Why? Isn't sub-par good? Answer: only in golf. But doesn't par stem only from golf? Even if not, still, isn't golf the context we most associate par with? If you hear "par" and think of something other than golf, what is it? That last question is not rhetorical, I'm genuinely curious.

Back to pitching, sans baseball.

You sit across the table from one agent in a room full of agents for your time slot (probably 8 or 10 minutes), and now, it's your chance! Your chance to sell your book idea!

Of course, selling a book is nothing like writing a book. It is also a critical step in publishing a book. Everyone wants to write a book, that gets published, but no one wants to sell a book. People (especially non-writers) seem to think these are the steps: write a book --> publish a book. But it's more like write a book --> sell your book idea --> publish a book. And, if we're getting really future-thinking here, and a tad more descriptive:

1. Write a book (and edit extensively)

2. Sell your book idea to an agent

3. Agent sells your book idea to a publishing house

4. Edit your book with help of editor at publishing house

5. Publish your book

6. Sell your book to readers!

(Note: this is traditional publishing, not self-publishing or e-publishing. I see the merits of both types of publishing, depending on your goals, but I chose to pursue the traditional publishing route.)

Some people hate selling things, but I actually don't mind it. I think double majoring in both English and Business and working for a large corporation for 3+ years has allowed me to approach book-writing a little more realistically than I might have otherwise. 

I have now pitched four times and before each pitch I was incredibly nervous. Like doing-power-poses-in-the-bathroom nervous. But, I survived each time, and learned expert advice from agents each time, and was glad I did it each time! Writing conferences will provide info on agents beforehand: make sure you choose an agent who represents your genre. E.g. some agents represent only non-fiction. It's a waste of time (and money) to pitch your fiction book to them.

Rather than attempt a witty hook that could fall flat, I started my pitch with the facts after introducing myself: "I wrote a middle grade contemporary fiction book called (title) that follows (protagonist) as she..." and then went from there. The agents are sitting there (all day, sometimes!) listening to pitch after pitch after pitch of all kinds of genres, so I didn't want to make it too hard for them to follow. Also, things not to mention: This is my first book! I had friends beta read it and they liked it! I extensively edited it! The latter two are a given. The agent sure as heck hopes you edited it and had beta readers. If not, you're pitching it too soon. Also, mentioning it's your first book won't help your chances (and could hurt them), so best not to mention it!

After that, I dove into my pitch (I tried to keep it around 90 seconds) and then waited for feedback. The minutes following the 90-second-or-so pitch, were very conversational. Be prepared to answer incredibly specific questions. If the agent is interested, she'll likely ask you about word count, so know that too. Each time, the agent asked me thoughtful, specific questions (even if she wasn't interested in reading the manuscript), providing valuable insight into what agents look for.

While pitching, I focused on the very next step with pitching: convincing the agent its worth her time to read my book. 

You aren't (yet!) trying to convince her to publish thousands of copies and sell the foreign writes and—hey!—what about making it a trilogy with a three-part movie deal, maybe four, depending on box office success? ;)

So, if you walk away from your pitch with an agent asking for sample chapters, or a sample manuscript, yay!!!! But, if you walk away with valuable industry-expert advice for honing your story (or your pitch), it's also great, because you put yourself out there. You made yourself vulnerable. And only out of vulnerability can you really grow as a writer. 

Hopefully this was helpful if you're considering pitching—and, if you aren't, I hope it offered some insight into how traditional publishing works and some weird sports analogies to boot. I would love to answer more specific questions if you're prepping for pitching at a writer's conference! Feel free to contact me.

p.s. Writing advice from Cheryl Strayed and writing advice from John Dufresne that helped me manage "step #1."

p.p.s. Since I'm still (always) thinking about this — Does a sub-par golfer hit above par? Or is calling a golfer sub-par a compliment? Real questions, you guys. :)

Advice on Writing, Vol. 2

Ernest Hemingway famously said, "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and bleed." And, although I highly respect the cat-loving writer, I must say that sometimes, after I've sat at a computer and "bled" for a while, I read my work, and realize it stinks. This is where this week's writer's advice comes in! Brought to you by none other than Cheryl Strayed.

In Tiny Beautiful Things by Strayed*, she shares all kinds of advice on life, love, struggle, and pain, but also the occasional gems on writing, since Strayed is a writer herself! Win-win-win.

*You still haven't read this book, but you read my blog? I'd like you to please stop reading my blog, and spend all the time you could spend reading my blog reading this book ;)

There is a particular chapter that really stuck with me called Transcend.

In it, Strayed writes:

"I teach memoir writing occasionally. I always ask my students to answer two questions about the work they and their peers have written: What happened in this story? and What is this story about? It's a useful way to see what's there. A lot of times, it isn't much. Or rather, it's a bunch of what happened that ends up being about nothing at all. ... For what happened in the story to transcend the limits of personal, it must be driven by the engine of what the story means."

I love those two questions — such a good gauge for substance in writing. Admittedly, in blogging, there isn't a ton of transcendence. What happens in my DIY Bauble Necklace post is I make my own bauble necklace, and that's what it's about. But some of my favorite posts (I'm talking from other people, here) really do seem to transcend. And books? Transcendence is obviously huge. In my English major days, it was like a buzzword around the classroom table. (Like "synergy!" in business meetings.)

But, I've never seen it laid out as simply as Strayed does — and I love it —so I just had to share!

What's your favorite writing tip? :)

p.s. A tip from a writer who scoffs at writers' block.

Advice on Writing, Vol. 1

I shared that I left my job as a project manager to pursue a career in writing. So I thought it would be fun to start a little series where I share valuable writing advice I learn along the way!

Of course, saying I'm "pursuing a career in writing" can be pretty vague, when you think about it. What exactly am I writing? Magazine articles? Songs? Books? Blog posts? Greeting Cards? Tweets? The options seem endless, as long as you don't think too much about cash flow ;)

Well, in addition to blogging, I've been doing magazine freelance and fiction (that's all I'll say for now :)*

Other pervasive advice from the conference: drink coffee! {mugs at anthropology}

*Since I'm so rarely enigmatic, I revel in mystery when possible.

On behalf of my fiction, I attended the UW Writers' Institute last week at the Madison Concourse hotel and really enjoyed the experience. The keynote speaker on Friday, John Dufresne shared with us advice he tells his students:

"Understand that if you didn't write today, it is because you chose not to."

So simple, but such a powerful statement. It's all about taking accountability for what we do and—sometimes more importantly—what we don't do. Writers have the pesky "writer's block" excuse that pops up every once in a while and this guy was anti-writer's block and pro-hard work. He also said, "Writers block is when your imaginary characters refuse to talk to you" which made me laugh.

I think this advice extends far beyond writing. You can essentially substitute "write" with whatever goal you are working toward. E.g. If you're training for a marathon, replace "write" with "run." If you want to be a famous opera singer, replace "write" with "sing." You obviously get the idea. ;)

His advice, of course, reminds me of a favorite quote:

Happy Thursday, friends! And happy writing, singing, running —whatever you'd like to do :)

p.s. If you are feeling extra nerdy after reading this post: the cutest TED lesson ever on appropriate comma usage.

p.p.s. ICYMI: my family taking Harry Potter world by storm.

Wednesday Wordplay: Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed

My book review of Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugarby Cheryl Strayed is short: It's a series of advice columns that were published on therumpus.net. It's moving. It's heart-wrenching. It's radically empathetic. It's occasionally disturbing. I think you should read it.

At points, it's very very serious (from prescription drug addictions to all kinds of abuse to kleptomania) and she's very liberal with her f-bombs. I still think you should read it, because it's about real lives of real people and working through all different types of struggle (loss of a child, loss of a parent, jealousy, depression) and rising from those struggles.

I thought more effective than a full-fledged book review would be to share quotes from the book. Since she has a stellar vocabulary, we can learn from it as well. These quotes will be a little longer than normal for WW sentences, and some of the words might be a little "easier" but I picked them for the sake of the quote. Consider it a two-for-one. ;) Page numbers simply for my future reference (of if you want to pick up a copy of the book and check out specific letters!)

incendiary - adj. 1. used or adapted for setting property on fire. 2. of or pertaining to the criminal setting of property on fire. 3. tending to arouse strife, sedition, etc; inflammatory. 4. tending to inflame the senses.

"I know your connection feels powerful, rare, and incendiary. I know it seems like this woman is your own personal intimacy messiah. But you're wrong. True intimacy isn't a psychodrama." (266)

transcend - verb. (used with object) 1. to rise above or go beyond; overpass; exceed. 2. To outdo or exceed in excellence, elevation, extent, degree, etc.; surpass; excel.

"I know you know what it means to transcend. 

You did it in your own life when you made a whole man out of the fractured boy you once were.
But the thing about rising is we have to continue upward; the thing about going beyond is we have to keep going." (316)

unimpeachably - adjective. 1. above suspicion; impossible to discredit; impeccable.

"You don't need me to tell you how to be human again. You are there, in all of your humanity, 

shining unimpeachably before every person reading these words right now." (281) 

visceral - adjective. 1. of or pertaining to the viscera. 2. affecting the viscera. 3. of the nature of resembling the viscera. 4. characterized by or proceeding from instinct rather than intellect.

"Putting faith in that stuff might pay the rent, but it's never going to build your house. 

We are here to build the house. 

It's our work, our job, the most important gig of all: to make a place that belongs to us, a structure composed of our own moral code. Not the code that only echoes imposed cultural values, but the one that tells us on a visceral level what to do." (302)

canard - noun. a false or baseless, usually derogatory story, report, or rumor.

"By generalizing your problems regarding sex and sexuality, you're running from yourself. You're covering your wounds with a classic it's-okay-if-I'm-f*cked-up-because-everyone-is-f*cked-up canard. It's a lie you've told yourself that has flattened down whatever hurts. 

But what hurts remains." (302)

magnanimous - adjective. 1. generous in forgiving an insult or injury; free from petty resentfulness or vindictiveness. 2. high-minded; noble.

When prompted with the question "If you had to give one piece of advice to people in their twenties, what would it be?"

To be ten times more magnanimous than you believe yourself capable of being. Your life will be a hundred times better for it. This is good advice for anyone at any age, but particularly for those in their twenties. (147)

And although there aren't many big flashy words in it, I'll leave you with (probably) my favorite quote from the book. (It was, of course, hard to pick just one)

"You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself...Nobody's going to do your life for you. 

You have to do it yourself, whether you're rich or poor, out of money or raking it in, 

the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. 

And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. 

No matter what unjust, sad, sucky things have befallen you. 

Self-pity is a dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. 

It's up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out." (202)

Just to be clear, Cheryl Stayed uses a bunch of very empathetic, compassionate, and caring language in Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar as well - I chose to pull some of the more powerful quotes.

And that's a wrap! Happy WW, friends! Thanks to everyone who shared words with me, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about your words! I have a stockpile ready to go for future weeks - and would always love more. :)

Wednesday Wordplay: Have a Diverting Thanksgiving!

Just popping in to wish you a lovely longgggg weekend. If you do have to go to work on Thursday or Friday, first off, thank you! I know many people in the medical field, retail, and just people who don't get vacation days need to go in to the office. I am thankful! I also hope it is at least a slow day at work for you.

Here are a few words for you to word-drop over the turkey to impress all of your extended family members:

ethereal - adj. light, airy, or tenuous.

Aunt Charlotte, laughing with her nieces and nephews, always had an ethereal glow about her.

diverting - adj. serving to divert; entertaining, amusing.

Have a diverting Thanksgiving celebration! [Okay, I admit, no one ever says that. But it is more interesting than "happy." Also, it reminds me of the Spanish word for "fun" - divertido!]

eldritch - adj. eerie; weird; spooky.

I don't want to sleep at Aunt Hazel's eldritch house for Thanksgiving. It's practically haunted!

gnostic - adj. pertaining to knowledge.

My gnostic older sister Joyce is always full of fun facts at the Thanksgiving table. [haha, in real life I'm more known for saying things like "Wait. Is Nepal a country or a city?" but you know, this is my blog so, I can be gnostic in my imaginary online persona if I want to ;)]

Also, don't you think words with silent g's just bring a little something extra to the table? I'm sure the gnomes agree.

laconic - adj. using few words; expressing much in few words; concise.

I hated sitting by cousin Joe. He added nothing but laconic replies and condescending looks to the conversation.

a snapshot from a walk this morning!
(Photo credit goes to Stephen, you can see me in the ear muffs in the background :)

Stephen and I off to Pittsburgh to spend some time with the parents and the littlest sister (we will miss the other two!) Plans include eating Thanksgiving dinner, exploring some areas of Pittsburgh, and learning to make homemade baklava from a friend! I might even bake that homemade pie I've been meaning to make from my 101 in 1001 list, but I can't make any promises :)

I probably won't be back to blogging until Monday - but be sure to follow along on instagram for snapshots (like the one above)!

Wishing you all lovely Thanksgivings. I'm thankful for everyone who reads this blog :), my friends and family in my life, my boyfriend, and, of course, my cat!

Tywin is ready for winter with my coat! 

Enjoy your holiday weekends!

p.s. Thanks to the friends who sent word recommendations my way! If you have ideas for WW, feel free to shoot them to me! I'm always looking to learn!

Wednesday Word Play: Put that in your pipe and smoke it

Hey homies, I'm back for another rendition of Wednesday Wordplay, which celebrates my love for words and my limited vocabulary. Killer combo. :)

I hope you enjoyed last week's work hard, complain harder feature and have been writing screeds that threaten to defenestrate your insufferable co-worker who's an inveterate kool-aid drinker and also such a milquetoast. Phew.

This week I thought I'd focus on a few idioms and their origins. With a pipe theme, because Frosty. (Snow is currently falling out my window.)

*image

1. Pipe Dream: noun. Any fantastic notion, hope or story.

"This might be a pipe dream, but I'm hoping my blog gets 1 million followers after I share the origin of pipe dream." ;)

Most people know what this means, but where'd the phrase come from? I found out from a friend this past weekend while bowling and verified it on the link above.

TANGENT: Fun fact: I once bowled a 9. I was in eighth grade, and I was trying. This weekend I bowled (wait for it)....a 28. In the first game. Then, in the second game I bowled a 104. I'm consistently incredibly inconsistent when it comes to bowling.

A pipe dream is alluding to the dreams produced while smoking an opium pipe. Who knew? I've never smoked opium, but apparently I unknowingly reference it.*

You can buy these on Etsy. Perhaps interesting Q-tip holders?

2. Down the Pipe: This actually is not the correct idiom that means "soon to happen or appear." It's actually Down the Pike, where "pike" refers to "turnpike" (aka a big highway). However, "pike" isn't really used anymore, outside of this idiom, and "pipe" obviously is. So, you hear both, and see both idioms in writing. For every one published example of "down the pipe" there are two "down the pikes" according to this useful post on the grammarist.

So, in short, you could say "Next week, we have some exciting happenings coming down the pike" or  "Next week, we have exciting happenings coming down the pipe"and, I mean, everyone would get what you mean either way.**

But technically, stick with "pike" if you want to pay homage to the idiom's origin.

3. Pipe Down: slang, to stop talking or be quiet.

"Hey Tywin, pipe down! I'm trying to watch Game of Thrones."

This one has a nautical origin. On ships, a boatswain's pipe was used to give signals. "Piping down" was the specific signal dismissing men from duty for the day, and telling them to go under the docks and retire for the night. (Sources: one, two, three.)

Well, that's all for this week! I hope you enjoyed learning a little history of some commonly used phrases :) The more you know, right?

Happy Hump day, you guys! One week and one day until Thanksgiving!!

Haha! *image

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p.s. Tune back in tomorrow for a book review! Yep, another memoir.

*Reminds me: there is a ton of opium smoking in The Good Earth. As I said back in July, I really recommend that book! (for more than just the opium. Haha.)

**I have to assume you're referring to Thanksgiving.

Wednesday Wordplay: Work Hard, Complain Harder

I have a confession to make: I am incredibly self-conscious about my limited vocabulary. I actually never really worried about it until about half-way through my 3-year career as a software implementer (being an English major in college didn't phase me.) Until my job, I had never met so many people with such expansive vocabularies. Sure, there were a few co-workers who "word dropped" aka intentionally used a bigger word than necessary to flaunt (or somehow prove) their alleged intelligence. But not most people. Most of my co-workers just naturally spoke at a much higher reading level than I do.

Someone saying "I made an ostensibly innocuous change in the system that ended up corrupting thousands of records" was commonplace.*

These sentences had me scrambling to google words that I didn't know how spell. I do the same thing when I read - constantly googling words to get definitions. I then screenshot the words. My phone (out of storage!) is filled with words I don't know, that I'm trying to learn. I have to choose which screenshot to delete every time I want to take a cat picture.

Life truly is full of difficult choices, you guys.

When Tywin hears the vacuum in the hallway. All business.

But I haven't really been retaining much, and I want to prove that even though I'm now on the wrong side of 25 I'm still capable of learning words. (Especially since I'm aspiring to be a writer - my vocabulary bothers me a lot!) I know if I blog about words I'll remember them. I essentially remember every sentence I've ever typed on this website. I can quote blog posts I wrote nearly 4 years ago.**

So, this Wednesday Wordplay series is for me to learn, but if you want to follow along, you may learn something too! Just don't make fun of me if my words are SO easy that you can't believe I need to learn them. Baby steps! We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I'm really good at getting lost in cities and complaining about business travel, for example.

This week's theme: words to improve your complaints about work. We all know part of having a job is complaining about said job. These five words will help you relish in complaining (just remember to complain out loud amongst friends not online in writing amongst potential employers.)

1. Insufferable: adjective. Not to be endured; intolerable; unbearable.

Don't say "That meeting sucked" say "That meeting was insufferable." Your co-worker who is so rude you can't stand being around him isn't a moron. He's an insufferable moron.

2. Inveterate: adjective. 1. Settled or confirmed in a habit, practice, feeling, or the like. 2. Firmly established by long continuance, as a disease, habit, practice, feeling, etc.; chronic.

Is your boss a misogynist? No, he's an inveterate misogynist. (I've never had a misogynistic boss who was stuck in his ways, but if I did, he would deserve this powerful adjective.) Timmy has the inveterate habit of oversleeping and coming in late to work.

3. Screed: noun. 1. A long discourse or essay, especially a diatribe.

Google says "a long speech or piece of writing, typically one regarded as tedious." (dictionary.com and Google don't exactly matched up.)

(Note: this word also has many alternate definitions regarding Building/Construction, but I don't care about those ones.)

Did anyone read that screed the boss emailed us yesterday? The meeting only got worse when Tony launched into a political screed that was totally off-topic.

4. Milquetoast: noun. 1. A very timid, unassertive, spineless person, especially one who is easily dominated or intimidated.

If John wasn't such a milquetoast he wouldn't get so much work dumped on him.

5. Defenestrate: verb (used with an object). 1. To throw (a person or thing) out of a window.

Susan's presentation made me want to defenestrate my laptop. Alex's presentation made me want to defenestrate him.

That's all for today! I hope complaining about the work week just got a little more enjoyable. :)

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p.s. Since complaining about work is a universal bond (like smiling), I wrote this piece for Thought Catalog: The 5 Types of Annoying People in Meetings

p.p.s. "Complain Harder" Image above from unspirational instagram - follow along for a good laugh. Cat pic from my instagram - follow along for a good cat picture!

p.p.p.s. I can't believe how worried I am about using a word incorrectly in those sentences :) Just let me know, I'm obviously just trying to learn!

*For legal reasons, I should say that just the large, impressively spoken words are common place, not the record corruption.
**But I don't because I get that no one cares. :)