Let me start by saying I, too, have come to hate the term "mind blowing" that seems to be plastered all over the internet in a desperate attempt to get clicks. "What Kylie Jenner wore to the After Party Will Blow Your Mind." No, I promise you, it won't. How little esteem do you ascribe to the synapses of my brain? That being said, I recently watched two Netflix documentaries that took 2 basic needs—clothes and food—and totally changed the way I view them. The messages of these documentaries have stuck with me and completely changed my perspective, so I feel justified in my post title. I'm even contemplating serious life style changes because of the intriguing (and heart wrenching) information they shared, so, I wanted to share them with you!


1. The True Cost

image via True Cost documentary

I have never been much of a shopper, but also have never come close to fully grasped the HORRENDOUS impact the fast-fashion industry is having on our environment (and on people in third-world countries!). All Caps HORRENDOUS totally justified. Even though the $4.50 tee-shirt from Forever 21 might seem cheap, the true cost is far reaching. From the genetically modified cotton farms (in Texas and India) where farmers are dying to dangerous factories in Bangladesh in Cambodia (where workers are dying), this eye-opening documentary will make you reconsider if you really need to buy a new shirt every week. The breadth of this documentary—and the breadth of the impact on fast-fashion on the world—is staggering.

Personally, I've always thought the Black Friday shopping frenzy was mildly stupid, but now I find it morally deplorable. There is a life beyond searching for meaning in stuff, and I think the more people can realize that, the better off our planet will be.


2. Cowspiracy

image via cowspiracy.com

This one was much more difficult for me to watch. Because, though I've always found shopping for clothes kind of boring (I'm known to wear the same striped tee shirt until there are holes in the sleeve...then wear it about 30 more times before getting rid of it), I've always loved eating. And I've loved eating in a no-restrictions kind of way. I've always been very much a carnivore—for my whole life!—and was nervous about watching a documentary that might make me think more closely about what I ate. Well, at my sister's urging, I watched it. And, even though it was shocking—livestock agriculture is literally unsustainable (even grass fed) and polluting the planet and ocean and impacting global warming more than you could imagine—I'm glad I did. Ever since adopting Tywin, I've been leaning into more plant-based meals, and this now has me toying with the idea of going full blown vegetarian here pretty soon. If you're thinking How bad could animal agriculture actually be??? I encourage you to check out this infographic (and then watch it)!

**

Both of these are available on Netflix and really worth your time (in my opinion). Have you already seen them? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Also, send all other documentary recs my way :)

My Wedding Anti-Diet

Color me clueless, but I lived nearly two decades of my life not even realizing dieting for one's wedding was a thing. I distinctly remember when I realized wedding diets existed in the world at large and how terrible this discovery felt. It felt like the time I realized "sophomore" was not spelled "sophmore"—an error I made consistently for countless years (including "sophmore" year of high school). (To this day, I take spelling much more seriously than dieting, you should too.)

I was in college, and the T.V. blared Royal Wedding coverage (but of course). The news people were discussing....wait for it...Kate Middleton's waistline. What else?

They were showing beautiful pictures of Kate six months ago and beautiful pictures of present day Kate and comparing her waist size in the pictures. Because really? This woman is about to officially become royalty so let's discuss her body at length, shall we? What else could we possibly cover about her? Oh yes, her clothes. Well, we'll cover her wardrobe extensively in the next segment and the next segment and the next segment, don't you worry.

So, one woman says: "I must say, she just looks so much thinner. I'm worried she's starving herself for the wedding."

Second woman responds: "Well, I say, let her do what she wants with her body. It's the most important day of her life. Of course she'd want to be in the best shape possible!"

And this is when I had my miserable epiphany. I can't remember my exact position but it's safe to assume I was sprawled out on the couch inhaling Sour Patch Kids. And I thought, eloquently:

Wait, what? People diet for weddings? Shit.

Because, as an athlete, when I asked myself the question: When should one be in the best shape of one's life? The following answers came to the forefront of my mind:

*When one's playing in the NCAA Tournament

*When one's doing an Iron Man

*When one's climbing Mount Everest

*When one's swimming the English Channel

*When one's competing in the Olympics

These, to me, make sense. You should probably (at least attempt) to be in (somewhere near) the best shape of your life when you're participating in a vigorous athletic event. But when one's getting married? When you've found a person who wants to share the rest of your life with you, until death due you part? Why?  Had the stars ever been more misaligned?

I suppose (I admit this is likely an uncommon perspective), for the first 20 years of life I never associated being in shape with appearance. I mean you either can or can't run a mile in under 6 minutes and 30 seconds and it didn't matter how thin you are, if you didn't make your mile time you were benched until you did (this actually happened for my college  basketball team, some of the thinnest girls on the team didn't pass the test).

Of course, flash forward seven years, and now I'm actually planning a wedding and less blissfully naive about society's body standards, and I totally get it. You're going to have to wear a dress in front of tons of people, some of which you haven't seen in years. You're going to be professionally photographed for hours on end. Those photos will be broadcast all over social media, so even friends and friends of friends you purposefully didn't invite will be able to judge how you look and say passive aggressive comments like, "Well she looks nice but that dress just isn't for me, you know?"

So, when we were dress shopping, I had another epiphany to counteract my miserable epiphany of yore: I'm going to buy a dress that fits me. (Note: with my really short guest list, I already had not invited any passive-aggressive dress judgers to my wedding.) Furthermore, being what Cosmo calls "pear-shaped"—I tried on a few tight-all-the-way-down numbers, thought "nope," and told the dress attendant that I'm going to need to buy a dress that "goes out." And, then, the whole dress shopping experience became much easier and more enjoyable.

And therefore, my friends, I present to you the ultimate wedding (anti)diet: BUY A DRESS THAT FITS. THE END.

:)

Simple Green Smoothies Recipes

I have never been on a diet. This is solely because I am self-aware enough to realize that I do not possess the necessary willpower to diet successfully. I do not possess a quarter of the necessary willpower. Any time someone says they're gluten free or vegan or, say, don't eat cheese every single meal I don't ask why? I ask HOW?


I should mention that once I did decide to give up meat for lent. I was really, really focused on this. But then, on the bus ride after our basketball game, I accidentally ate a piece of pepperoni pizza ...on Ash Wednesday. (Sorry, God.) (Thankfully, as a Presbyterian, I always considered lent deprivations as bonus points, so to speak.)


Anyway, all that to say-- I started making Simple Green Smoothies in honor of the New Year! If you haven't heard of Simple Green Smoothies, check out their website and gorgeous Instagram account. You'll see (right away) that (thankfully) it's not a diet. Simply put, it's just a fun way to eat more dark, leafy greens, something I never seem to get enough of!

I've tried 3 recipes so far as part of their 30 day challenge and wanted to share them with you!  (All recipes from my Simple Green Smoothies Book)


Very Berry Citrus
2 cups spinach
2 oranges, peeled
3/4 cup water
3/4 cup strawberries (I used frozen)
3/4 cup blueberries (I used frozen)
1 banana


1. Blend spinach, oranges + water until smooth
2. Add strawberries, blueberries + banana and blend again!


Banana Berry Blast
2 cups spinach
2 cups unsweetened almond milk
1 cup berries (I used frozen blueberries and a few frozen blackberries)
2 bananas


1. Blend spinach + milk until smooth
2. Add berries + banana, blend again!


Simple Monkey
2 cups spinach
2 cups unsweetened almond milk
3 bananas
4 tablespoons cacao powder & 2 tbsps. almond butter {I replaced both of these things with 2 spoons peanut butter because that's what I had!}


1. Blend spinach + almond milk until smooth
2. Add bananas + Peanut butter and blend again!


I have enjoyed each recipe, but I loved the Simple Monkey (I admit probably because I added PB, but as I said, not a diet :). They also have many recipes that start with kale instead of spinach...that I'm working toward trying. What do you think? Do you drink green smoothies? Would you give it a try? If you have any great green smoothie recipes...send them my way!

How to Plan a Wedding in 48 Hours

Stephen and I got engaged a few weeks ago, and right after it happened I was so excited to be married to Stephen, but I was feeling this palpable sense of dread around planning the actual wedding. I was thinking I'd rather have a plane delayed by maintenance forty times than make a guest list. And I'd rather miss my connection by four minutes after sprinting through the airport than take nauseating engagement photos. And I'd choose getting a flat tire and being stuck on the side of the road in the freezing cold in the middle of Illinois over anything to do with centerpieces. Do you know what you should worry about instead of centerpieces? LITERALLY ANYTHING.

Yes, I was equating my wedding planning with a series of terrible business trips of my past, and thinking those would be preferable. Because at least when you get a food voucher from the Delta lady at midnight in DTW she doesn't ask you what your wedding colors are. 

And here I must profusely apologize to every woman who has ever had a wedding or will have a wedding with a perfectly curated guest list, adorable engagement photos, lovely centerpieces, and the perfect colors. Your engagement, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding was or will be amazing. Seriously. I have attended these perfect weddings and enjoyed them immensely.

And I mean this with complete sincerity: Good for you, not for me.

So....right in the midst of a few weeks of "Let's elope" thought processes where whenever anyone asked me about my impending wedding I wanted to a.) punch them in the face b.) apparate to another time zone. and c.) eat an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. (To be clear, I perpetually want to do c. regardless of the topic of conversation.) Right in the midst of this brain hurricane of wedding-induced panic, Stephen helped me have this life-altering epiphany:

It doesn't matter.

Wait.

Let me say that again.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

I love that sentence. Yes, in some instances it has a depressing ring to it but in others—take, this one—it can be incredibly freeing.

So, in this post-revelatory happiness haze void of meaning, Stephen and I, basically, did it all in 48 hours. Chose a city (Madison), chose ceremony space, and chose a venue for a reception.

And, I surmised there are two key things you need if you want to plan your wedding in 48 hours:

1. A very restricted/limited guest list. People will understand. They should be cool enough to get it. If they're not cool enough to get it—do you even care about them?

2. A healthy dose of apathy. (See above mantra)

:)

So whatever your "wedding" of the moment is—the thing churning around, unsettling your skull, rattling your peace of mind—ask yourself: how much does it matter? Five years from now, how will you feel about this very thing that's bothering you so much right now it's eating away at your sanity? Free yourself, yo.

And never forget: There are infinite things more important than center pieces. Take cats sprawling out next to toilets, for example:

Hope you're all having good weeks! xx

Our Engagement Stories

These days, there's a lot of pressure put on a single moment—the wedding proposal.

With so many meticulously planned and filmed proposals destined to go viral, it raises a lot of questions. Does he really love her if there isn't a flashmob? Did the moment actually happen if it wasn't captured on video? Or at least photographed? Does the number of "likes" on a Facebook engagement announcement increase their chances at everlasting love?

All this to say...Stephen and I got engaged yesterday! And, surprisingly, no flashmobs were involved. I want to tell you the wedding proposal story—I do—but reducing our five and a half year relationship to one moment seems impossible, like reducing your life to a single piece of paper. I couldn't pick just one. Here are a few of our engagement stories:

When I was a junior in college, in the middle of the worst basketball season of my life, Stephen and I started dating. We're talking a single-digit win season. Stephen came to every home game. Even if you're one of the few who considers women's basketball extraordinarily exciting, these games were not that. They were often downright painful. But Stephen came, cheered, waited (and waited) (and waited) after the game for me to be done in the locker room. Stephen was my fan, from day one. His enthusiasm has never wavered, all these years later.

The first picture taken of us together. Photo by Cosi!

Only a month or so into my relationship, my aunt died unexpectedly. I got the terrible news, then went to basketball practice. After practice, I knew Stephen had been looking forward to playing poker with a group of guys. Instead, he was at my apartment holding my favorite Dairy Queen blizzard, and refused to leave.

Stephen's graduation weekend. Before the wine and cheese thing at Bucknell.

I started this blog one year into our relationship. I was terrified to let anyone read it. Stephen would patiently proof every post, reassuring me it was good. His belief in me has caused me to more deeply believe in myself, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Somewhere on some trail in Arkansas.

Stephen and I dated long distance for over two years. Most of that time, he was in Little Rock, Arkansas, and I was in Madison, Wisconsin. Nearly every time I flew down, he'd text me after I landed something like: "Got held up at work. Can you take a cab to my place?" or "Sorry, not there yet." He was always there. He was always waiting. (And often hiding behind something so I had to look extra hard for him.) Despite all the miserable things about long distance dating, I'll never forget the joy of reuniting in airports.

Getting in touch with our artistic sides in Arkansas.

Since I had a job in Wisconsin, Stephen moved here. A little over a year after he moved here, I decided to quit that job. He was unquestionably supportive. Even though I wouldn't have an income. Even though we now lived in Wisconsin, away from all of our families, because of me and now I was quitting the job that brought me here. Stephen never stopped supporting me.

Stephen's first weekend living in Madison! (At the terrace)

Over the weekend, we flew to my home in Pittsburgh for my friend, Nicole's, beautiful wedding on Saturday night. On Sunday morning, Stephen asked if I wanted to go for a walk and, since we go for walks all the time, I agreed without thinking anything of it. We walked down to Hopewell Park and started going on a trail through the woods. The air was crisp, but not cold. The leaves on the trees shimmered in the sunlight—all shades of yellow, red, and orange—and the leaves on the ground crunched beneath our feet.

Once we neared the top of a hill, he suggested we sit on a bench for a bit, and that's when he got on one knee and asked me to marry him! Upon our return home, my entire family was there along with cake, flowers, champagne, and cute decorations. We had a big family brunch together. I couldn't stop smiling.

This picture snapped by Grace after showers were taken post-walk :)

If I had one wish, it would be that every person in the world has someone who loves them the way Stephen loves me. I look forward to making many more stories with him for years to come. 

I love you, Stephen!

Field Trip: Sunflower Fields Forever (Pope Farm Conservancy)

One of my good friends has a pretty tattoo on her foot that says girasol in cursive. It's the type of tattoo that makes me wish I was brave enough to get a tattoo.

"What's it mean?" I ask, because I'm inherently nosy. She explains she got the tattoo in memory of a friend, and it's the Spanish word for sunflower, which has a beautiful literal translation: "turn to the sun." (girar meaning "to turn" and sol meaning "sun.")

I thought of her, and her friend, a lot on Thursday as I wandered amongst the beautiful sunflower fields at the Pope Farm Conservancy. If you're in the Madison area this weekend, I recommend checking it out. It's free, and well worth the short drive!

Sunflowers actually do turn their faces toward the sun, and track it as it goes across the sky. (It's an activity called heliotropism, or solar tracking.) Isn't it nice when nature conveniently hands you a life metaphor? It's so easy to focus on the negative in life, but, everyday we all have another option: turn to the sun.

If you're planning on checking out the sunflower fields, go before this Sunday—they don't stay bloomed for long—and there's space to have picnics! I did some writing when I was there, and it'd also be a great place to read.

(It's also a good place for family pictures....or solo pics if you're cool like me.)

I hope, regardless of any current struggles, you spend this weekend turning toward the sun. xx

Decorating a (Rainbow) Bookshelf (for someone with a lot of books)

As I've been (slowly) unpacking our belongings in our new space, I've been challenging myself to up my decorating game. (This is quite the challenge for me as I'm kind of a "leave my shoes wherever I feel like it" kind of person.)

I've always been inspired by perfectly decorated bookshelves, but some of the prettiest ones seem to hold more art pieces or framed prints than actual books. But then I swung by Tomissa's apartment and was so inspired by her rainbow bookshelf I had to give it a try!

Here are a few (basic) tips for decorating a bookshelf. (Keep in mind I'm no design expert, just a girl trying to make her apartment look slightly more put together!)

First, I've said it before, but purge your book collection, this is a necessary step and just makes things easier. Follow Marie Kondo's advice, and only keep books that belong in your "Hall of Fame"! (Easier said than done, of course, but worth an effort.)

Next, I recommend arranging the spines of your books by color. It creates a cohesive look making your shelf look more intentional and less like storage space. I had the most black and white spines, so did the top shelf in white and the bottom in black, with colorful books on the two middle shelves.

Even if you're not down for a rainbow display, you can use this next tip: edge your books. This, perhaps, is the most commonly known thing ever...but I just learned about it! Edging is simply arranging all books the same distance from the edge of your shelf. (I prefer about an inch from your shelf's edge.) This creates a uniform look regardless of book size, so if you have teeny tiny book like Catcher in the Rye next to the huge massive Steve Jobs book, it doesn't matter!

Finally, book ends are fun and beautiful and awesome....but they take up space. So, I simply use stacks of books as book ends. Start with a heavy, bigger book on the bottom, and get smaller as you work your way up the stack! Plus, horizontal stacks of books add some nice diversity to your shelves. 

What do you think? Would you try a rainbow bookshelf? Also, if you have any other bookshelf decorating tips...let me know! This is really my first attempt :)

5 Lessons from Living with My Boyfriend

Come August 1st, Stephen and I will have lived together for a whole year. While this by no means makes me an expert on cohabitating, I thought it'd be fun to reflect back and share some "tips" for those of you considering moving in with your significant others. (I'm sure it will just be amusing for those who have been doing this for years—I know I still have a lot to learn!)

1. Start on Equal Ground

Stephen and I each moved in from our own apartments to our new apartment, and even though that meant but a three-block move for me (from a 2 bedroom downtown, to another 2 bedroom downtown, womp), I would definitely do it again. We started living together in our place not his place or my place. There was no sense that one of us was intruding on the others' space/routines/life—we were choosing to enter the same space, and make a new life, together.

2. Purge (lots of) Your Stuff

I wish we would have purged more stuff initially. Obviously, I am a big fan of the Marie Kondo method but we should have been more stringent at first. For example, since we were merging two kitchens into one (small) one, we had way too much glassware. As in, we had to repurpose a shelving unit for mugs and then still had some permanently on the counter. In preparation for our upcoming move, we finally got rid of unnecessary glassware (but don't worry: not this glass), and I wish we would've done it ages ago (upon moving in rather than upon moving out).

But, whenever I make good decisions I always wish I would've done them sooner. Learn from our mistakes, and consolidate belongings. (Also, at one point we had four cheese graters. Not surprising at all if you know us, ha!)

3. Don't Correct the Person Doing the Chore

We don't have a ton of "house rules" but we have one that I love: If you're not doing the chore, you don't get to correct the person who is. Ex. I never put dryer sheets in the dryer (its against my nature), but he doesn't get to correct me because I'm doing the laundry. And, when he takes out the trash without first scooping the cat litter (gasp!), I don't get to correct him because he's taking the trash out. This works very well for us—no one wants to be critiqued constantly when they're doing a chore that benefits both people. Give it a try! (Even with a non-S.O. roomie!)

4. Wunderlist is a Godsend

I talked about Wunderlist in a list of Fun Free Apps a while ago but its eternal usefulness bears repeating. No one wants to exchange one million texts about "We're out of hand soap." And "I'm going to the store do we have milk?" Wunderlist is an easy and (dare I say) fun way to conquer the banality of stocking a home together. No more walking to the store and cursing yourself (or your partner) for leaving the grocery list on the fridge!

5. Adopting a Pet is More Challenging—and more Rewarding—Than I Anticipated

Although it's hard to believe since I've nearly come to crazy cat lady status at this point, I was not the driving force behind adopting Tywin, Stephen was. He was the cat person through and through, and I was resistant, but thought to myself "If the compromise of this relationship is a furry ball I guess I can deal." Flash forward ten months, and I'm obsessed. Of course, I was also surprised at the amount of work "raising" a cat entails. From vet visits to "incidents" (he has ruined a pair of my Steve Madden flats!) to the occasional middle of the night/early morning wake ups, you should be ready for a larger time commitment than anticipated. Still, it has been a wonderful thing to take on together—and I'd do it again in a heart beat.

Do you live with your significant other? Any other tips for cohabitating? I'm all ears!

p.s. Check out Mackenzie's post where she talks to 10 women about the big move-in. It was the inspiration for this post and is definitely worth reading!

Cute Jewelry Trays

I have many "endearing" habits making me a less than perfect roommate. One is that I leave jewelry scattered about around the apartment like candy at a parade.

(Important sidebar: I adore the term "endearing"—why practice self improvement? Just take your most annoying habits...and label them endearing! Bad driver? Endearing! Never take down the trash? Endearing! Terrible sense of direction? Endearing! Thus ends my self help book proposal.)

Anyway. Cute jewelry trays are a nice way to make your randomized jewelry placement seem more intentional. Exhibit A:

(I've been using my little sister's tray for my daily jewelry while I've been at home for the week. Thank goodness we have so many J's in the family.)

What I've found best to do is note where you organically place your necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and rings, then buy trays and put them in all those places. Interior design at it's finest, ladies and gentlemen.

So today, I rounded up some of my favorite jewelry trays:

Jonathan Adler White Lacquer Tray (Design Darling, $34)
Daisy Place Square Dish (Kate Spade, $40)
Metallic Gold Glass Tray (J. Crew, $17.50)
Vintage NYC Skyline Trinket Tray (Nordstrom, $40)
Deep Sleep Trinket Tray (Anthropologie, on sale for $9.95)
'Not All Who Wander Are Lost' (Fringe Studio, Nordstrom, $16)

Where do you shop for your trinket trays? Can never have enough, in my opinion. ;)

p.s. The Anthropologie monogrammed ring dish above here. My sister got me the Wisconsin necklace above for Christmas. (Thanks, Becky!) You can find the gold necklace here and the silver version here.

A Long Weekend Without Wifi

I hope everyone had a Happy Fourth! I spent the long weekend at my parents' new cabin on the Allegheny River that is a whopping 400 square feet! It was my first time up there and I really liked it, even though there were 6 of us up there, 6 ft + in height :) It was not unlike a giant slumber party.

The cabin is right on the river, so there was fishing, kayaking, biking, and camp fires.

(This nearby bridge used to be a railroad, but is now a bike path offering beautiful views of the Allegheny River.)

Other than being with family and friends, the best part—I think—about the cabin is the complete and total lack of Wifi. Even phone service was a tad questionable. I did manage to post a few instagram shots and send some texts/brief emails, but that was about all my phone could manage. For four days!

I know bloggers love talking about "disconnecting" which, to me, always feels a bit funny. E.g. "Here's an instagram about disconnecting!! #offline" Wait, what? But, here I am writing a blog post about disconnecting. So. Human beings are balls of contradictions, in my experience, and I am no exception.

I think I now have discovered the only way for me to really disconnect, since I apparently don't possess an ounce of will power. Go somewhere where it just plain doesn't work, no matter how much you want to read blog posts, scroll through your entire facebook feed, and read all your new emails. This reminds me of a quote by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and, as he died on this day 85 years ago, I feel it's appropriate to share:

"What can we know? What are we all? Poor silly half-brained things peering out at the infinite, with the aspirations of angels and the instincts of beasts."

—Arthur Conan Doyle

He was talking about our collective addiction to Wifi when he wrote that quote, right? ;) I know it's a stretch, but I do feel like I just instinctively spend hoards of time on my phone/computer, even though I aspire not to. So that's why his words came to mind.

With all the offline time at the cabin, I finally cracked open Jane Eyre. And got to feel like I was more embedded in the present moment. (Milan Kundera would be proud.)

Plus, I ate a ton of popsicles.

I hope you all had a happy long weekend filled with popsicles, s'mores, and/or the dessert of your choosing!

p.s. We got some sad news that my grandpa passed on the fourth, so I'll be heading down to D.C. for a funeral this week, so posts will be light. But I did want to share a book review this week, so I'll work on getting that out, but no promises.

101 in 1001 1 Year Update

Yesterday marked one year since I began my 101 things in 1001 days list! I'm no math genius, but I busted out Excel and determined my days are ~36% of the way done, and I'm ~34% done with my list. Not too bad! Of course, I have some easy ones left (finally watch The Matrix), as well as some harder items (visit Europe!), but that's the joy of this list. The 101 items can be as big or as small as I like.

So far, the fitness category has been the hardest for me to complete (the only one I've done is yoga 20 times in a month back in January, and that was quite challenging). Today, I thought I'd highlight a few of my completed items for inspiration, in case you're thinking of drafting your own list or just looking for ideas of things to try!

1. Try Stand Up Paddle Boarding

I meant to try this all last summer, and though I drove by/saw a lake multiple times a day (the joys of living on an isthmus!), I never got around to it. This summer (just yesterday!) my friend Melanie and I finally tried it out on Lake Wingra with Wingra Boats. It was so much fun! For me, kayaking on lakes is always a tad on the boring side, especially if the water is super still. Not the case with SUPs! 

I will say this: the wind impacted us a lot. So, on our way out from the boat house we zipped along with the wind at our backs, but turning around and coming back took us twice as long. Still, it was a lot of fun, and I highly recommend trying it out (especially if you live in Madison). Next, I want to try SUP at Brittingham Boats and see how the Monona Bay compares to Lake Wingra.

13. Visit the Cave of the Mounds

When I made my list, I tried to include local attractions that I otherwise likely wouldn't visit. Enter, the Cave of the Mounds. Haha. But, even though it wouldn't particularly pique my interest usually, it definitely exceeded my expectations. The cave was huge! Also aren't stalactites (the little guys dripping from the ceiling) offer quite the lesson in perseverance. The guide would point to one that was about 2 inches long and say "This one's young! Only 80 years old." It's all about perspective, I guess.

As a fun bonus we checked out the Grumpy Troll Brew Pub in Mount Horeb on the way home, where they serve flights of their beer and the world's largest pretzel.

(told you!)

36. Take my sister(s) on a New York City trip!

Ever since going to NYC for work (and learning the city/subway), I've wanted to take a personal weekend there with a sister (or three). Of course, it's hard to get everyone together so Becky and I ended up doing a #twinning weekend to celebrate our half birthday in April! Unfortunately, it was a little cold when we went but we still had an awesome time! From checking out the Met to "running" the Brooklyn Bridge we had a very New York weekend. The highlight though? Seeing Aladdin on Broadway. It was amazing! I'm still debating, but it's in the running for my favorite Broadway show ever. (Thanks for the tickets, Mom & Dad!)

100. Write a First Draft of a Children's Chapter Book

I completed a manuscript for a middle grade book in April. I pitched it to four agents, and sent it to two upon request...so now I'm just eagerly waiting to hear back! :)

That's all for this recap, though you can see all 35 of my completed items here, if you'd like. I also occasionally look at #101in1001 on instagram (there's almost 1000 posts there!) for inspiration. Do you have a list online? I'd love to check it out! 

p.s. My 3 Month Update & 8 Month Update.

In Response to the Charleston Shooting: A letter to People in Their 20's

Dear People in your 20's,

I think this is a really hard decade. I would know, I'm 26. In one word, I'm struggling. Sure, you can legally drink at 21, but it's kind of all downhill from there, right? At 22, society says you're supposed to know what to do with the rest of your life, which, if we're being honest, is straight-up BS. I mean, people are living to be 100 years old these days but you need to have everything figured out a quarter of the way through? Why?

The pressure to have a career path in your 20's sucks. Not to mention all your friends who "always knew they wanted to be a lawyer." Ugh. How could you possibly always know anything when you've been alive for a tiny blip of time? Walk through a forest. Nearly every tree in it is older than you are. You've basically just arrived on planet earth! But, you're 100% certain of your career path. Not an ounce of doubt.

To all those self-assured people I say this: Good for you, not for me.

Not to mention everyone getting married, having kids, buying houses, and (ugh) posting engagement photos to Facebook. Social media is the worst kind of liar, because it pretends to be something it's not. It pretends to exist to help with human bonding and connection-forming, and instead tells you everyday you're falling behind. You're 26 and not engaged yet? What, do you have leprosy or something?

No one knows exactly what you should do with your life except for you (at least that's what "they" say). And, if we're being honest, you don't know either. I know I don't know what to do with mine.

But, I do know exactly what you (and I) should NOT do. 

I strongly believe with every ounce of my body there's one thing that you should actively avoid doing at all costs. Do not kill people.

First off, let's take an incredibly self-absorbed 20's mindset when approaching the idea of shooting and killing other people. It accomplishes nothing for you. Maybe your life right now is a miserable abyss of questioning and restlessness and depression and addiction. I'm not diminishing those terrible things. That's rough. Maybe you are going through something so terrible that it's impossible to articulate. You are certain you are the first person to feel so much melancholy in so short a time period—and there's no hope for your future, and no one can even begin to understand. First, I'm going to kindly suggest you start reading classic literature. Not modern-day pop-culture vampire dystopian fiction. Read the classics. Steinbeck. Hemingway. Salinger. You might find you're able to surround yourself with a cohort of authors who share in your melancholy, and make it more bearable.

Then, I'm going to ask, if possible, that you adopt a pet—rescue a cat or dog or bird, I don't care. And watch how, even when every single human on the planet is insufferable, your animal relies on you for food, for care. Without question, your pet blindly trusts you—you! The person living in an abyss of misery with no direction and no hope for the future!—for food, for shelter, for love, for everything. 

Then, and only then, if you are still thinking of killing other humans, I'm going to urge you to ask yourself this question: Will killing someone else solve any of your problems? Really think about it. Mull it over. Be honest with yourself. The answer is a resounding no.

Then, of course, if we pull our heads out from our behinds (where our heads generally tend to be in our 20's, it seems), we can start considering the lives of people other than ourselves. The other living, breathing humans, with hopes and fears and doubts and dreams. And maybe even with pets of their own. And a collection of books. And, maybe, with children, who also have hopes and fears and doubts and dreams. When you kill another person, you don't just destroy him or her—you destroy worlds. By ending a person's life, you set off a wave of misery that washes over wives, husbands, friends, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, co-workers, sons, daughters, pets, and on and on and on.

Is that what you want to be known for? Really think about it. Mull it over. Be honest with yourself. No, it is not. You were not born to set off a wave of misery and despair and heartbreak and sadness. Maybe you weren't born to be a doctor or lawyer, either, but you decidedly weren't born to be a weapon of mass destruction. I'm 100% sure of it. It is not who you are. Look at your core. Your core will not lie to you. Strip away everything else—society's unfair expectations, the harsh opinion's of others, your self-doubt, your addiction, your horrid situation, your self-loathing—strip it away, and look at your core. Your core is beautiful. I am certain of it. You are beautiful. And you have the rest of your life to tap into that core, tap into that beauty. I'm begging you, don't ruin it for yourself in your 20's, and do not ruin it for anyone else, ever. After all, each of us is only here for a tiny blip of time—there's no sense in shortening it. Be kind to others. And be kind to yourself.

Sending my love to Charleston, and to you,

Joyce

Two Poems on Love That Should be Read at More Weddings

Perhaps this title induced many an eye roll, but I couldn't resist. I recently stumbled across two different poems on love, and I'm kind of obsessed with both of them.

You know how everyone always reads the same passage about love at weddings? Love is patient, love is kind....etc. The youth-group going girl I was knows it's from 1 Corinthians 13, of course. Well, don't get me wrong, I like that passage—it's just, it makes love sound a little unattainable to me. Patient, kind, keeps no record of wrong, doesn't boast, is not rude, is not self-seeking? Shoot.

I mean, let's start at the very beginning. If love is patient, count me out.

I can't wait in a long grocery store line without plotting the ultimate demise of every shopper in front of me. And don't get me started on driving. (I'm looking at you, Wisconsin!) I said it a long time ago, but I'm considering writing a book called "If You're Going 57 mph Get the %$@! out of the Passing Lane, and Other Pearls of Wisdom to Live By."

Anyway, love poems.

I'm going to let these poems speak for themselves, rather than bore you with English-major dissections of each of them ;)

The first one I stumbled across on Design for Mankind (a wonderful blog, in my opinion) in this post.

THE PATIENCE OF ORDINARY THINGS
By Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they're supposed to be.
I've been thinking about the patience 
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish, 
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?


The second one is included in the book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott which I'm currently reading and loving.

THE WILD ROSE
by Wendell Berry

Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,

Suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,

and once again I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.

Wouldn't it be lovely to hear one of these read at a wedding? I think so. Any other great love poems you'd like to share? I'm always on the look out.

Do you have ant issues?

This is a story about me, my car, and some ants.

Yes, my car was a (generous) gift from my parents. Thanks, Mom and Dad!!!! And OMG those "shorts." I was like 19 in this picture (taken long before the story below) but STILL. AHHHHH.

My Honda Civic (which I still drive) was my way to get from Bucknell, to home in Pittsburgh, and back. 4 hours east, 4 hours west, 4 hours east, 4 hours west. Wax on, wax off. We got into a bit of a rhythm during my collegiate years.

Well, after my junior year of college, I loaded it all up, packed to the brim with piles of crap from my dorm, and then, rather than do the 4 hours west homeward drive, I went to the beach with some friends, celebrated Stephen's graduation, and then drove it home.

I don't remember the exact moment I saw an ant in my car. Which, of course, was part of the problem.

But somewhere in my car's "dorm stuff baking inside" phase an ant (or two) decided it was a pleasant place to move in. As they do.

I got home, "unpacked" my car (as much as you unpack college stuff when you know it's going back in a few months anyway), and moved on with my life. Or so I thought.

I had seen a couple ants in my car during this process, over the course of a few weeks. Noticed them without, you know, acknowledging their presence. I kept my car outside, and ants lived outside, so there were a few ants in my car, so what? C'est la vie, the circle of life, Hukuna Matata, live and let live, whatever. (In hindsight, there were many situations when in I should have embraced a laissez-faire attitude; this was not one of them.)

But I had bigger fish to fry! A summer job promising hours (and hours!) at the scanner! A relationship to build with my now long-distance boyfriend (our first foray with "long distance," which would serve us well for what came ahead), and, you know, a life to lead not involving my car.

But, now that I think about it, my autonomous life was decidedly dependent on my car.

And that's how, when I was getting into my car to go to Starbucks to meet my friends, I noticed that the dashboard was particularly crowded with ants one evening. There weren't one or two scattering across the dash. We're talking more like 50.

And then, for the first time, I really looked. Really looked on the floorboards. In the back seat. In the cup holders.

Ants. Were. Everywhere.

Sorry if this is gross. If it's any consolation, I'm getting squeamish just typing and wiping imaginary bugs off my legs.

I had to stop everything (but my big Starbucks plans!), get my mom (what else does one do?), and start vacuuming those little buggers up. It was so not enjoyable.

So, here's my question: Do you have ant issues? It's not just ants, of course, but an issue, a problem, that you're passively noticing but not, you know, actively acknowledging.

Are you wishing something away? Are you hoping if you ignore it, it will vanish? Maybe it's seemingly minuscule. Tiny! Easily ignorable! Ant-sized!

Still, here's my advice: Just address it.

Because, from experience, most things like that don't just go away. You must work to eliminate them, work to solve them, work to fix them. And, if you just ignore them, pushing them aside and prioritizing other things (there are things to be scanned! And calls to be made! And Coffee to be drank!), these minuscule issues can grow. Worsen. Manifest. Or, in my disgusting case, literally multiply. (Yuck.)

I guess what I'm saying is, I think you already know what most issues are, it's just a matter of whether or not you admit it to yourself. I, personally, think most of us intuitively know things that are problematic —it's a matter of admitting it, acknowledging it, and addressing it. Easier said than done, of course. :) But acknowledging it is the first step!

Happy Tuesday, friends!

p.s. If you think this analogy is stupid, you can still sit down in your car today and think "At least my car isn't infested." :)

Two Fun Websites

So, I know we all waste enough time on social media these days, BUT I recently found discovered two websites that have the benefit of a.) being super cool and b.) not including status updates from those annoying people from your high school.*

*I say that fully knowing that, to some people, I am, surely, the annoying person from high school. Everyone is someone else's annoying person from high school, in my opinion.  

Hope you enjoy :)

1. The New Yorker Cartoons at Random

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I <3 the New Yorker Cartoons, and this website let's you click through them for eternity!!! I ask you, what better way to spend eternity? Sure, you could also follow The New Yorker on facebook and twitter but this is site is 100% only cartoons! Also, you can avoid annoying anonymous people commenting. (Is social media like the watering hole for annoying people?*) Pro Tip: Even though there's a button that says "Next" at the bottom of the cartoon, you don't have to click the button, you can just click anywhere on the cartoon to advance. Pro Tip #2: you can't "go back" with the back arrow, but they do repeat occasionally. :)

*Note: I, personally, spend an inordinate amount of time on social media.

2. Apple World Gallery, Shot on iPhone 6

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My boyfriend always has the coolest back grounds on his laptop. (I always have the same unchanged one I took of the Mississippi River like 3 Thanksgivings ago with Kelsey -- still pretty but I'm no professional photographer!) Finally, he told me where he got all his awesome back grounds! (I should have figured it was Apple; he's a bit of an Apple worshipper.) Apple has curated breathtaking photos that were (allegedly ;) shot on the good-old iPhone 6. Motivation to update your computer back ground today —and to become a better photographer.

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Warning: Many hours can be spent on either of these websites. Still, I like stumbling across new enjoyable sites. Reminds me there is some good out there on the abyss of the world wide web. It's not all bad, my friends.

Hope you have a happy Thursday!! xx

My Summer Reading List

My summer reading list has nothing to do with what's new and what's hot; it has entirely to do with what I own but haven't read yet. As I'm getting ready for another move (Nooooooo!) I'm trying to donate as many books as possible. (So far, that's like 12! But it's progress!) I'm also re-dedicating myself to reading the ones I'm keeping around (and packing in boxes, and carrying up and down steps, etc. etc. ugh).

Behold, my summer list, in collage form:

1. Cannery Row by John Steinbeck (I read this short Steinbeck book recently and enjoyed it!)

2. A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn

3. Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness by Richard H. Thaler and Cass R. Sunstein

4.My Fair Lazy: One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being A Dumb Ass Is the New Black; Or, A Culture-Up Manifesto by Jen Lancaster (I've read many of her books but skipped this one!) 

5. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (I have this one on my 101 in 1001 list since it's embarrassing I haven't read it as an English major!)

6. Diary by Chuck Palahniuk (My youngest sister lent me this one! I promise to read it, Janice!)

7. A Separate Peace by John Knowles

8. Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson (This one's borrowed and I need to return!)

9. The Jungle by Upton Sinclair

Have you read any of the above books? Would love to hear any recommendations to help me prioritize! 

p.s. This post contains affiliate links, meaning, if you buy a book through a link above, I receive a small commission (at no cost to you)!

p.p.s. If you haven't read this book, do yourself a favor and add it to your summer reading list!