Stephen and I got engaged a few weeks ago, and right after it happened I was so excited to be married to Stephen, but I was feeling this palpable sense of dread around planning the actual wedding. I was thinking I'd rather have a plane delayed by maintenance forty times than make a guest list. And I'd rather miss my connection by four minutes after sprinting through the airport than take nauseating engagement photos. And I'd choose getting a flat tire and being stuck on the side of the road in the freezing cold in the middle of Illinois over anything to do with centerpieces. Do you know what you should worry about instead of centerpieces? LITERALLY ANYTHING.
Yes, I was equating my wedding planning with a series of terrible business trips of my past, and thinking those would be preferable. Because at least when you get a food voucher from the Delta lady at midnight in DTW she doesn't ask you what your wedding colors are.
And here I must profusely apologize to every woman who has ever had a wedding or will have a wedding with a perfectly curated guest list, adorable engagement photos, lovely centerpieces, and the perfect colors. Your engagement, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding was or will be amazing. Seriously. I have attended these perfect weddings and enjoyed them immensely.
And I mean this with complete sincerity: Good for you, not for me.
So....right in the midst of a few weeks of "Let's elope" thought processes where whenever anyone asked me about my impending wedding I wanted to a.) punch them in the face b.) apparate to another time zone. and c.) eat an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. (To be clear, I perpetually want to do c. regardless of the topic of conversation.) Right in the midst of this brain hurricane of wedding-induced panic, Stephen helped me have this life-altering epiphany:
It doesn't matter.
Let me say that again.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I love that sentence. Yes, in some instances it has a depressing ring to it but in others—take, this one—it can be incredibly freeing.
So, in this post-revelatory happiness haze void of meaning, Stephen and I, basically, did it all in 48 hours. Chose a city (Madison), chose ceremony space, and chose a venue for a reception.
And, I surmised there are two key things you need if you want to plan your wedding in 48 hours:
1. A very restricted/limited guest list. People will understand. They should be cool enough to get it. If they're not cool enough to get it—do you even care about them?
2. A healthy dose of apathy. (See above mantra)
So whatever your "wedding" of the moment is—the thing churning around, unsettling your skull, rattling your peace of mind—ask yourself: how much does it matter? Five years from now, how will you feel about this very thing that's bothering you so much right now it's eating away at your sanity? Free yourself, yo.
And never forget: There are infinite things more important than center pieces. Take cats sprawling out next to toilets, for example:
Hope you're all having good weeks! xx