First World Problems

Monday, September 26, 2011

I had a sad realization the other day after I posted some pictures of Facebook. I was glancing through some pictures I took during the day, when I went to the Badgers game, and that same night, when I went to the bars - and a strange thought crossed my mind "My hair looks better than usual."

here's a picture of Camp Randall just for kicks, clearly not featuring my hair

Saying that my hair looks better than usual is kind of like saying the Pirates are playing better than usual or that Hitler is being nicer than usual. But still. Then I remembered that when I skyped my boyfriend (in the time between the UW game and the bars) that he had complimented me on my hair.

Now, when my boyfriend compliments me this means one of two things: 
1. it's the sign of the apocalypse
2. he did something wrong

And, in all seriousness, he never does anything wrong - so I knew that the stars must be aligned. 

So I started thinking... why does my hair look different? And realized the harsh, ugly truth. I had blow-dried it that morning after my shower. Usually I wash my hair before bed, sleep with it wet, and wake up    and it's basically dry so I run a brush through it and put it in a pony tail. 

But, clearly, my appearance could benefit if I blow dried it once a blue moon. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT. Obviously, this pisses me off, because I hate hate hate hate hate blow drying my hair. It sucks. I can't hear my music, my head gets hot, my arms hurt. No, military presses don't hurt my arms but blow drying my hair does. I can't explain it.

A side story to illustrate how truly miserable hair drying can be: the other day I was blow drying my hair and blasting music and my roomie came in (I of course didn't hear her), and when she walked over to the doorway of my bathroom and I shrieked and collapsed in a fit of terror. 

So, I've added "I hate drying my hair" to my list of first-world problems, and just currently realized another one while writing this post. "I'm addicted to flavor-blasted cheddar goldfish." The bag is now empty on my floor and my keyboard is crummy. At least my hair is dry?

The Real Deal

Sunday, September 25, 2011

One Friday evening I was eating a hotdog in Target. Madison has a plethora of wonderful restaurants to choose from (I mentioned a few here), so you may be wondering why I chose processed mystery meat from a corporate retailer as my meal of choice. Well, I've eaten at Tar-jay twice so far and always for the same reason.

I enter Target with the intention of getting a couple things: hangers, a picture frame, milk. And come out with: hangers, a picture frame, milk, a clock for the wall, batteries, an air freshener, a new shirt! I could continue but I can always look at my bank statement if I want to be depressed.

As I check out I think to myself: shoot, it's dinner time. Where can I get the cheapest meal ever to compensate for the decorative clock I just purchased on a whim?! And then I realize I'm walking by it on the way out: the Target snack bar.

So, I'm eating a hot dog alone at a table on a Friday night in a Target (could I get any cooler?), when I notice the napkin I'm using from Starbucks has a special message:

Apparently, I am supposed to be comforted by the fact that Starbucks now serves real food.

The small text at the bottom reads: "We've got good news. We removed the artificial trans fat, artificial flavors, artificial dyes and high-fructose corn syrup. Now your food not only tastes better, it is better. We hope you enjoy the difference."

This is an interesting marketing tactic. Basically, here's a reminder of all the shit you've been drinking for years. But now it's gone! Aren't you happy?! No, I'm not happy. I'm regretting the hundreds of Caramel Macchiatos I've consumed in my life and wondering what the hell else is in my coffee that you aren't telling me about.

Three years from now you're going to run a new marketing campaign and your napkins are going to say "We've got good news. We removed the cigarette ash and natural gasoline that used to be in our food." And then I'm supposed to be happy?

Don't forget, this is all coming from the person whose opting to eat a hot dog - which is anything but "real."

Once Upon a Time

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

At my work this week, many customers are here for our annual customer convention! 5,000 staff + 6,000 customers = one crazy week. And, don't worry, it's Fairy-Tale themed!

I did not take these pictures, but one of my co-workers did and said I could share them with you! (Thanks :) )

a beautiful shot of the campus

people, people, people!

horse and carriage rides for the customers!

It has been a crazy, but very exciting week. I've been volunteering to help out with things around campus monitoring, doing food prep/catering, and tomorrow I'm going in at 7am for beverage prep! I got to meet my customer today, and that went well! I don't really want to blog too much about work - but wanted to share these lovely pictures! Hope your weeks are going well!

Cable Conundrum Continued

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Read the previous post if you haven't already, before continuing.

When the long-awaited August 20th comes along, I wake up, run a 5k with friends, come back, and walk down to the farmer's market. (One of my most productive Saturdays, so far).

I spend my time browsing the farmer's market fresh selections with a friend, when I realize: it's almost 1 o'clock! I better hurry home so I can wait for the cable man to arrive as promised. 

After 2 and a half hours of sitting around in my apartment on a perfectly beautiful Saturday afternoon, I call up the cable company.  After being on hold on and off for about 15 minutes I am informed at 3:45 of their status. 

Apparently they are "very overbooked" because I live in a "college town and a lot of students are moving in" my person is a little backed up....and won't be able to come....until SIX or SEVEN.

I pretended that I had pressing dinner plans, mainly because hanging out with the cable guy on Saturday night wasn't my idea of a good time. Of course, my dinner consisted of heating up a microwaveable meal of spaghetti and chicken nuggets. (Yes! That is a real combo. It was $1.29 at the grocery store. I bought it as a joke. My arteries didn't find it so funny.)

Regardless, they said they could come the next day between 10am-noon. So at 12:30, August 21st, I go to call up my favorite cable company after another solid 2 hours of chilling in my apartment. (All the waiting around in my apartment wouldn't have been so bad had I had cable and/or internet. )

Then, as if on cue, I get a phone call from the cable company! The guy on the line is anything but friendly:

Me: Hello
Angry Cable Dude: Are you in your apartment?
Me: Yes.
ACD: You are?
ACD: Well, the dispatcher is there and he's tried to get in contact with you, and can't.
Me: Really? How?
ACD: He's tried to contact you. It is now your responsibility to make your presence known.
Angry Me: I'm sorry, HOW has he tried to get in contact with me?
ACD: He's tried to contact you.

Of course, I have been sitting in my living room this entire time. No one has buzzed up to my apartment, no one has called me (other than Mr. Angry Cable Dude), and as far as I can tell - no one has thrown any rocks at any of my windows.  My owl had been out flying around for a while, but had yet to return with any scrolls.

To top it all off, 2 of my friends had used my buzzer this morning, so I knew there was nothing wrong with it. But apparently, not only can this cable company not come anywhere on time, they can't handle pushing the little button next to my room number either.

It's actually making me annoyed writing this, so I'm going to practice safe conversation and wrap it up. Let's just say - even though I let the cable guy in at 12:30 ....I didn't get cable and internet until 4.

Only 21 days after moving in and 27 hours after the original appointment. Living the dream in my first real apartment. 

Wherein a Vent about Cable: Part 1

Monday, September 12, 2011

I never so much appreciated how easy it was to get cable when you lived on campus at Bucknell, until I moved here.

It all started when I got the long list of cable providers I could choose from.  And by long list, I mean one. Sure, I had the option of getting direct TV, and then finding a separate internet provider...but when it came to companies that offered both cable and internet services to the general Madison area, I had one option. Uno.

I put off calling them for as long as possible, since, generally speaking, I'd rather stick my hand in a blender then call customer service. Or, drop my phone in a toilet? Oh wait, been there, done that.

Finally though, when I could no longer steal wireless internet, I bit the bullet and dialed up the monopoly company in our area to schedule an appointment. I believe it was August 8th when I did so, about a week after moving it.

Conveniently, they had lots of open time slots! On weekdays! During working hours! Our conversation went something like this:

Customer Service Dude: How about Thursday from 3pm-5pm?
Me: Sorry, that won't work, I work weekdays 8am-5pm
CSD: Oh....okay...let me see....well we have a time slot available on Monday from 8am-noon!
Me: Sorry, that won't work, I work weekdays 8am-5pm
CSD: What about Friday from 4pm-6pm?
Me: Could you guarantee they come on the later side?
CSD: No, they'd come between 4pm-6pm.
Me: Sorry, that won't work, I work weekdays 8am-5pm

etc, etc, etc, etc.

I felt like I was talking to a 5-year old who was continuously asking me "why?"

Finally, I found an open slot for Saturday, August 20th, between 1pm and 3pm. (Because I have nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon then wait around for Mr. Cable Guy) This was the first available slot I could be here for: a mere 12 days away from when I was calling. I could have ordered something online from Austrailia and it would have arrived at my apartment sooner.

I wish the story ends here...but it doesn' be continued...

Hallmark Dilemma

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It takes me an unnaturally long amount of time to select greeting cards for people. Not only is this flaw beginning to infringe upon my free time, but it is also becoming an expensive habit. Kind of like smoking, but less relaxing and more stress-inducing.

And less cool.  Yes, I think smoking is incredibly stupid and disgusting, but I still think there's some coolness factor to it that may be keeping tobacco businesses in company (or perhaps that's the nicotine).  Case in point: James Dean never posed in an aisle of Hallmark, did he?

So the other day I walked to the CVS near my apartment to pick out a birthday card for a friend.  Since the CVS is conveniently super close, I assumed this task would be a brief part of my day, composed of merely minutes, and hardly worth mentioning. Sadly, I forgot I was me.

Because I can't just read one card. I have to read every single card that's there.  Even though I know, going into this, that 85% cards ever produced I DESPISE.

For example:
1. Cards that have mushy poems in them that make me want to gag myself.
2. Cards that have cute messages but HIDEOUS ILLUSTRATIONS, causing me to ask questions including, but not limited to:
            Why does that cat look like it got run over by a truck? Why can't I tell if that cartoon figure is male or female? Why the hell is there a deformed squirrel on this card?

3. Cards that have a stupid, annoying flap of paper randomly inside of them with the message printed on it, causing me to ask the question: WHY?
4. Any card that is over $5. I would much rather have a $5 gift card to Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, McDonald's, the DMV, or ANYWHERE.
Now that I think about it, if it's over $3, I'd much rather have 3 packs of Skittles than a folded piece of paper with a generic message.

Anyway - back to me in the store. After reading every single card and wasting away minutes of my life that I will never gain back, I usually narrow it down to two. One that I find funny and one that is basically boring, but simple. And then I debate. Should I go with the one that is out-on-a-limb, but I find funny, or the "safe bet"??

The worst is when my indecisiveness conquers me and I buy both. Hence, the expensiveness of this habit.

But, not the other day - I finally just sucked it up and bought only one:  the funny card.

Only to return the next evening to buy the "boring" one.