Futurama

Monday, April 18, 2011

Since none of the jobs I've applied to have panned out (yet?), I developed some fool-proof back up plans over the weekend. And by some, I mean 2.

Option 1: Become a Gypsy.

I know what you're thinking. Joyce, you can't be a gypsy because you aren't musically talented and don't have big gold earrings. First off, I DO have big gold earrings.  Secondly, while many of my college friends may not know this, I can read sheet music in treble AND bass clef, being that I was a member of band for SIX (embarrassing) YEARS!! For all the offended band people out there, if you played the instrument I played, you would be equally embarrassed. Trust me. 

Upon further research, I don't think that Gypsies even need to possess sheet-music reading ability (but I am on the fast track to becoming an over-achieving gypsy, don't worry. If gypsies made salaries, I'd be up for a promotion.) 
I'm pretty sure all they have to do is dance and play the tambourine. My dance skills are paramount (anyone who knows me knows that this goes without saying). I'm going to go out on a limb and say, given natural musical inclination, about two weeks of practicing tambourine is all I need before I can embark upon this career path. 

One of my friends recently told me that, in modern times, being a gypsy is now equivalent to being homeless. My response, "Does Shakira look homeless to you?" 

Regardless, I know everyone should have a plan B:

Option 2: Become an Ice Cream (wo)Man!

People often say, do something you love. "Love" does not begin to describe how I feel about being surrounded by ice cream. Also, I've heard you should do what you wanted to do ever since you were little. As a child, I used to always say I wanted to be an ice cream man when I grew up. Seriously. Ask my mom. 

The only reason this is plan B rather than plan A is because it involves driving. Not exactly my forte. 

The only downside to these awesome future goals are that neither of these careers require a college degree. But I'm certain I still learned many things in college that will be valuable to me for the rest of my life. For example, I learned.... maybe I'll post on those tomorrow. 

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