Scaredy Cat

My roommates like the show Law and Order: SVU. This show has a good cast, entertaining screenwriting, and interesting plot lines. Also, the occasional shooting scene, which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't as jumpy as kangaroo who just chugged 5 Red Bulls.

 I'll be sitting there, half watching the show, half reading some 14th century lit that bores me to tears and suddenly, there's someone on T.V. holding up a gun. Pointing it at someone else. Saying "I'm going to shoot you" and then it's like BOOM BOOM BOOM and I fly out of my chair like I've just been shocked by 40 bolts of lightening simultaneously and I'm all HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.

This literally happened the other day and all THREE of my roommates are all sitting there, totally unfazed, like we actually just watched Stacy and Clinton show someone how to accentuate their body shape by using a belt. Did they not hear the BOOM BOOM BOOM?!

I'm sorry, but in my opinion this:

Is much different than this:

And my body reacts accordingly. This might not be an embarrassing problem if confined to my own room. But no, I jump at movie theaters too. Like, everyone else in the theater notices me flying out of my seat. (I'm not the smallest person, either.)

Worse came to worse the other day. We were watching a black and white movie IN CLASS. I think the movie was made like 50 years ago... about a freaking knight, and in an unidentifiable FOREIGN LANGUAGE. The fat squire was asking a slouched-over person where the INN was (in subtitles) (BTW, who uses the word "inn" unless you are Joseph accompanied by the Virgin Mary?) and then the squire lifts up the man's head who he's talking to, the music gets loud, and *BAM* a dead skeleton-face is revealed....take a wild guess whose body emphatically spazzed out in fear of scary said face.

I'll give you a hint. It wasn't the person to the right or left of me. Or anyone sitting behind me. Or in front of me.

Yeah, pretty much the highlight of my collegiate career. Having a room full of freshmen look at me like I have turrets, that is. I think its safe to say that if I get jumpy over a black-and-white movie with subtitles, I don't stand a chance against Law & Order: SVU. And actual horror movies? Oh, hell no.