I chatted about seeing Gone Girl a couple weeks ago, and I actually saw another movie recently that I liked even more: The Skeleton Twins.

I was drawn to the movie for a few reasons:

1. I'm a twin (duh!)
2. I like movies with witty dialogue, and I knew banter between Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader could deliver. SNL people for the win!
3. It also stars Luke Wilson. I'll always love him based on nothing but Legally Blonde. 
4. It seemed dark, but funny.

So, we went to see it during our vacation to California! Overall, I liked it. The sibling bond is always a refreshing switch from the romantic bond Hollywood usually focuses on. (Kind of like Frozen but real people and rated R. Very much R.) I made up an entirely fake unscientific book rating system in this post so I figured, why not do the same for movies? YOLO.*

I give The Skeleton Twins 3.75 out of 5 stars. It is definitely dark, and has hilarious dialogue (check and check!), but I wasn't thrilled with the ending, and found some plot lines maybe even a little too dark/disturbing. Thoughts like, I get everyone here is having a rough time, but does it have to be that rough? Really? went through my mind while watching it. But hey, life's tough. So I respect what they were doing.

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A central theme of the movie is suicide, and I appreciate movies that try to broach that difficult topic. I think the more public and socially acceptable we can make the conversation about suicide and suicide prevention, the better chance we have of addressing this serious issue. (Fast fact: About 40,000 Americans die of suicide every year. And for people ages 15-24, suicide is the second leading cause of death.**) Suicide prevention is actually a topic I feel very strongly about it -- and I just did a quick search of my 3+ years of blogging, and I don't think I've ever talked about it before! It's hard to discuss. So, although I wish it wasn't so stigmatized, I applaud movies that are bold enough to go there.

And, it's a tricky topic to address because it's hard to take the right angle. You certainly do NOT want to romanticize suicide (Did you see the article about the careless tweet regarding Robin William's tragic passing?), but you also don't want to belittle it or dismiss it or make it seem like a less serious issue than it is. I personally thought this film did a nice job of striking a balance between capturing the lasting impacts suicide can have on those left behind, and the challenges of contemplating "a way out" in the first person.

It also had some awesome dialogue. The awkward dinner scenes were amazing. Luke Wilson (Wigg's wife) is perfectly casted.

I think it's only out in limited release, but if The Skeleton Twins is showing near you, I'd check it out! From my biased opinion, it looks better than most of the other movies that are now showing!

Unless you're looking for a total happy escape. (And if you are - I don't blame you!) Then you can't go wrong with Frozen.

---
*I give you my full permission and even some encouragement to report my blog/report me to the police for the terrible use of that cringe-worthy acronym.

**Source for my stats on suicide: SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education.) Link leads to more stats.

The dessert you've been searching for

If there's one thing I love, it's dessert. My grandma once told me, "I always eat dessert first, because I know I'm always going to eat dessert, no matter what. But, if I eat my dessert first, maybe I won't eat as much of my main course." I haven't tried that method yet, but it's basically the only diet I'm ever interested in pursuing.

If nothing else, my 101 in 1001 list progress thus far has proved that I eat out relentlessly, even when I'm home in Madison. But what you may not know is not only do I eat out a lot, but also, I consistently order dessert while eating out.

This happens nearly every time I dine out with Stephen:

Waiter: Would you two like to see the dessert menu?
Stephen looks at me, knowingly.
Me (out loud): Sure, why not? I guess we'll just take a look at it to see what you have...
Me (in my head): Obviously! I'm confused why you even had to ask. Can we skip this step next time and you just bring the dessert menu immediately after, or even slightly before, I finish my main course?

Stephen and I generally "split" a dessert, much in the same way toddlers "help" with chores around the house. I eat 80%, Stephen eats 20%. I like this analogy because, even though it doesn't work perfectly, it makes me seem like I do more housework than he does (blatant lie.)

But we found one dessert in Madtown where Stephen actually does eat half of it!* There's really no need to even see the dessert menu when we're at Nostrano, because we're 1000% sure what we want to order: the affogato.

If you've never been to Nostrano, go. If you don't live in Madison, we have an extra bedroom and live less than a half a mile away. Sure, you'll have to share said bedroom with a brand new super energetic kitten, but it's worth it.

For those of you who don't know, affogato is a beautiful Italian dessert that was born in a manger a couple thousand years ago and has been saving the world ever since.

Nostrano makes it like this: take homemade sweet cream gelato with sea salt, pour espresso over it. And, as if that wasn't delightful enough, serve it with a side of bombolini (which are like little Italian beignets. Do you like Italian food more than French food? Either way, you will like bombolini more than beignets;) )

I think sometimes the gelato flavor is changed up to carmel or something along those lines, but no matter what, it's always the best! Take it from me, a self-proclaimed dessert addict, and a scavenger of dessert menus across the isthmus and across the country, you can't go wrong with Nostrano's affogato.

There's not much more to say because I really can't properly express how much I like this dessert in words. So you all just need to go try it, stat, and please report back with your life-changing testimonies.

*And he has practically no sweet tooth. It's incredible, really. Do you find the boys in your life generally have less of a sweet tooth than the girls? Why is that?

A new chapter: passionate over practical

After working there for 3 years and 3 months and 5 days (but who's counting?) I'm excited to announce that Friday was my last day at Epic. (Remember when I first started working there in July 2011? Time flies.)

Although I'm all for negative, complaining posts (so long as they're funny) this post is not one of those. I'm striving to have a "rear view mirror torn off" perspective-- as Jo Dee Messina so eloquently put it in her classic 1998 smash hit* --and focus on the future. 

Epic provided me a great place to start a career, and an awesome opportunity to meet some excellent co-workers and customers, and for that I am thankful. I know that every company has its pro's and its con's and, suffice it to say, after 3+ years, I am ready to move on to the next and experience something else. Cue Jay-Z, obviously. 

What's next? Every time someone asks me that I imagine Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby: 

And the truth is, I'm not 100% sure exactly what I will do with all my time now. But I do believe I'm making a shift in the right direction towards something I'm more interested in. I'm going to leave the healthcare software industry behind, and focus on improving my writing.

Before I ever picked up an Epic training companion, or even a basketball, I always loved writing. I was the kid who, when my second grade teacher told us to write a story about Johnny Appleseed on a sheet of apple-shaped construction paper, filled 10 notebook pages front and back and stapled them to the back of the apple before turning it in.

In third grade, we'd get a list of vocabulary words and it was homework to use them in sentences. I would always make my sentences a coherent story. Once, I remember sitting at my kitchen table and complaining to my mom, "I want to go outside and play with my sisters! But I can't think of a story for these words, they don't go together!" And my no-nonsense (but obviously awesome) mom responded with, "Joyce, you could just write separate sentences like everyone else. You don't have to make it a story, that's your choice." Although, that never seemed like a choice to third-grade me.

You should take this moment to be thankful that you never attended any form of school with me. (Of course, if you did, please accept this belated apology.) I was a not-as-smart version of Hermione Granger except I was neither friends with the most popular boy in school nor secretly Emma Watson, so I was a nearly intolerable classmate, probably.

Childhood embarrassment aside, writing is truly something I've always enjoyed. It's one of the reasons I majored in English.** It's the sole reason I started this blog. But, it pains me to say that I've never really prioritized working on it in my life. Other things have always come first, you know? The practical things.

Practical things always seem to get in the way of the passionate things, don't you agree? I wanted to major in English at Bucknell, but I also wanted to be "employable." So, I complimented my English degree with a second major in Business Administration. Too often, my English classes (the ones I most enjoyed) were now on the back burner to microeconomics, managerial statistics, accounting, decision sciences, and so on. Who has time to read Middlemarch in its entirety when there were balance sheets to balance?

Then, my senior spring, during the whirlwind of uncertainty that is job hunting, I dappled with the idea of getting into editing/publishing, but didn't try too hard. So many of the "opportunities" came in the form of unpaid internships, most in highly unaffordable places like New York City. And that just felt so....hard. I wanted an easy answer for "what to do when I grow up." I went to a career fair, handed a personable Epic recruiter my resume, and had the job in about a month. Since this well-paid job offer was stacked up against zero other offers*** it seemed like the easy answer I was looking for. Practical. A good career move. A springboard. A good place to start. High-paying (for me anyway).

And then I hit my practicality limit. I felt like continuing my job there was like pursuing a goal that wasn't even ever MY goal. "Moving up the ranks" there was never even anything that I wanted. So now, I'm trying to get back to focusing on what I want, and pursuing what I've always enjoyed: writing.

I'm consciously choosing the option I'm passionate about over the most practical option, at least for the time being. It's hard! I start a part-time unpaid internship at a local magazine tomorrow. I know it's a good move toward aligning my career with something I'm naturally interested in, but I'm tempted to apply for random part-time jobs left and right, just because subconsciously I associate a paycheck with proof of being productive. (And, on a deeper level I likely associate productivity with self-worth.)

But, I'm reminded of this John Wooden gem of wisdom:

On  my last day of work, the sent emails in my Outlook outbox numbered 17,296. I am not mentioning that because think that's a huge achievement; rather, that seems to me like a whole lot of "activity." I'm hoping to prove to myself that I don't need a paycheck to feel productive, and further that I don't need to feel productive to have self confidence and feel valuable. 

I'm not certain of the specific activities I'll pursue in the coming months (other than my unpaid internships and continuing to blog), but I do hope to feel as if I achieve something, or move in the direction of achieving something. I hope you will follow along! :)

*not sure if this was actually a smash hit in real life, but it was in my life! Also, do yourself a favor and please watch that music video. The buttoned-down tied up shirt-turned-mid-drift obviously needs to make a comeback stat.

**The other reason? I love reading. Shocking.
***I blame the lingering recession. 

Meet Tywin

I am excited to announce the newest resident of our apartment...

Shhh! Don't tell our landlord ;)

Stephen and I went over the weekend to the Dane County Humane Society. Let me just say: I am not a cat person, but I still wanted to take all of them home! It's just so sad seeing them all cooped up in their little kennels. We played with three cats, but "bonded" the most with this guy. ("Bonded" was the word used by the kind volunteer who helped us, not me, please. I'm not a sap.)

We decided to name him Tywin (pronounced Tie-win for you non-throners) in honor of one of our favorite Game of Thrones characters:

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Isn't the resemblance striking? ;)

Some of you might remember years ago when my roommates and I got a kitten in college off of Craigslist (Minnie!) and, well, she wasn't exactly an easy cat. "Spawn of Satan" may have been used once or twice when describing her. That was perhaps an understatement. She routinely refused to use the litter box and instead used random corners in our apartment, my roommates' beds and....our shower. Let's just say I resorted to showering 100% of the time in the basketball locker room. When the basketball locker room is your cleanest option, you know you have a problem. (I even got "published" for my 6-word story about Minnie's apartment-destroying antics.)

Well, after school my roommate Christa (she's a saint!) took in Minnie and I lived a cat free existence for a few years. But, you know what they say, all good things must come to pass. Kidding!

You guys, this may be killing my street cred but, right now.....I love him. 

Us holding hands. How cheesy am I?

His first night in our apartment went smoothly! He explored (and sniffed) every square inch of our space. Including weird places like behind the fridge, under bookcases, the whole works. So curious! He stayed in the second bedroom over night (spoiled, I know), where we set up his food, water, litter, and blanket-turned-cat-bed. His favorite place is under the bed, naturally. He is about 5 months old, so not teeny tiny, but still playful and adventurous.

This morning when I was getting ready in the bathroom, he reached his little paws underneath the bedroom door. And then, the second I opened the door, he sat down on my feet, started purring, and looked at me as if to say please don't go. My heart melted.

This guy may turn me into a cat person after all. I will likely be posting (an embarrassing amount) of pictures on my instagram with the hashtag #tywinstagram (I was proud of coming up with that one) if you'd like to follow along :) Any cat-raising tips appreciated!

101 in 1001: 3 Month Update

As I mentioned here, I decided to compile a list of 101 items to do in 1001 days to establish concrete things to try in the next 2.75 years. I wouldn't necessarily call all of them "goals" (unless upgrading your iPhone is generously labeled as a goal these days?), but they also are not merely mundane life-sucking tasks. Sure, I could have (all too easily) made a list of 101 things to do around my apartment/car: clean out the fridge, scrub the shower, make my trunk usable again, determine which air mattress actually works and just get rid of the other ones for the love of God, but that wouldn't have been as fun.

Also? I don't want to do those things. Maybe my life is elevated by the fact that the trunk of my car is filled with a growing collection of mysterious items. I always wanted to be enigmatic.

Now that I'm 106 days in to this challenge (12 down, 89 to go!), I thought I'd give a quick update and highlight some completed items:

2. Try 10 New Madison Restaurants

I don't take many food pics- but here's a Moscow Mule in a cute copper cup!

This one? Came way too easily. I honestly didn't even attempt to visit new restaurants in honor of this list; it just came naturally. The burgeoning farm-to-table restaurant scene is something I've always loved about Madison, and my favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations, so I hit my tenth new restaurant (Madison Sourdough for brunch, yum!) a mere 104 days in. It's officially safe to say I eat out WAY too much.The picture above is from newly-opened Cento, which boasts some of the best cocktails in the city. My favorite of the 10 was probably tucked-away Natt Spil, which I've now been to multiple times (oops!) We can all agree that #54 is going to be the real challenge here.

4. Complete my first Wisconsin triathlon!

the things I do for free tees

It may not have been pretty, but I finished! Posts about training for it and completing it.

7. See a Cubs' Game at Wrigley Field.

We got pretty good seats, that weren't too pricey!

The stadium is so charming! I've now been to 4 Major League Baseball Stadiums: PNC Park (Pittsburgh Pirates), Miller Park (Milwaukee Brewers), Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs), and Yankee Stadium (you guessed it, NY Yankees). And, although PNC Park is my favorite (typical Pittsburgh-er), Wrigley Field comes in second. It is very historic and feels small and cozy. Also, it's situated in the fun, young neighborhood of Wrigleyville. I'd recommend checking out the home of the lovable losers if you're in the midwest.

Their logo overtime (I always find that stuff fascinating)

14. See a New Broadway Show

Featuring the car that dropped me off. (Kidding, I obviously took the subway.)

I saw Of Mice and Men starring James Franco. And cried. Three distinct times. I always thought I preferred musicals over plays but I absolutely loved this play, and now think I should prioritize seeing plays over musicals. (Madison Friends: it's showing at Sundance 608 theater on 11/8 &11/10 through National Theatre Live - I highly recommend!) 

34. Explore California

Chilling by the GGB, NBD.

Stephen and I had a great time doing just that! I wrote a post on 10 things I didn't do while on vacation where I shared some pretty Cali snaps, and I am working on writing miniature guides to the places we explored - so look for those!

Overall, I'm pretty happy with my progress on my list....but disappointed with item #39! I still haven't been able to think of 101 things! I've only been able to come up with 83 items, so I still need to brainstorm 18 more things that I want to tackle. Any non-cleaning-related ideas appreciated :)

Confession: I Watched "Gone Girl" before Reading it

Maybe this is a dirty little secret I shouldn't be sharing online with my thousands* of avid blog followers, but there are times in my life, when, after loads of self reflection and a painfully meticulous decision-making process, I make the executive life decision that it is O.K. to see a certain movie prior to reading the book.

[Tangent: O.K. or okay? I use almost exclusively the latter, so have no idea why I just typed the former.]

This past weekend, I saw Gone Girl before even buying (or even attempting to read) the book. *gasp* The horror. I know, if Gillian Flynn were dead, she'd be rolling in her grave. Since she's not a dead author, but an alive one, she probably doesn't care at all. Famous authors who are alive never respond to offensive news such as this, but Shakespeare? He's done a hell of a lot of rolling.

image from amazon

Contrary to your (newly formed) opinions, I'm decidedly not starting a campaign to spread illiteracy in my spare time. Or a charity advocating for more screen time for our youth. Or secretly, slowly, and deliberately burning all of the books in the state of Wisconsin.

[Alright, you caught me, I did consider burning all my books, along with everything else I own, when I was moving.]

It's just...I was reading other things (this, these, etc.), and the movie came out, and my friends were going, and tickets were bought, and one thing led to another and the next thing you know...

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I liked it. The movie was certainly disturbing, but indisputably held my attention. I also now trust approximately zero people on this planet. It turns out hiring a secret service body guard to follow me around 24/7 was rather expensive, but totally worth the investment, in my opinion. You just never know, you guys.

I don't think I'm going to spend my time reading the book since I now know the story. And Gillian Flynn did write the screenplay! So I got pretty close to reading it, you guys! I'll likely read something else instead. 

Admittedly, I'm a repeat offender to this heinous movie-before-book crime. I watched Devil Wears Prada before reading the book, have never read the book, and have even watched the movie several times! I bet some of you didn't even know that was a book. (I doubt Lauren Weisberger cares, either.) 

Is it weird I feel like this is some sort of skeleton in my closet that I have to justify? Or do other dedicated readers go through this same cycle of guilt when it's time for the show and they haven't cracked open the pages yet? One of my friends who saw the movie with me also hadn't read it, and she felt guilty too. She had considered rushing home from work on Friday and voraciously reading the book before the 9:45pm showtime, but she napped instead. I'm all for the "nap over anything else" mentality, and I'm glad I wasn't the only offender in the audience.

And you know what guys, I think it's fine. It's our choice. I can still love reading without reading every book every book ever published, and I'm here to tell you it's really okay if you do this too. (Or O.K. Whatever you prefer.)

*this number could be a slight exaggeration.

p.s. Gillian Flynn admits to being a "worst-case scenario-ist" (just like me!) and says she thinks we need to have more uncomfortable conversations in this Rolling Stone interview. (spoiler alert!) Even though I've never read one of her books, I'm officially a fan.

p.p.s. Obvious spoilers: 18 Ways the Movie's Different than the Book  (I read this one too - why not?!)

A Book in Review: Beautiful Ruins

As I mentioned here, I bought Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter on a whim in the MSP airport for nothing but its eye-catching cover. I had also heard rumors (mainly surrounding his book of short stories, We Live in Water) that Walter is a compelling writer. After reading, I agree! I enjoyed his writing style and reflections on humanity. It's the multiple plot lines that left me feeling a little less than satisfied.

But let me take a step back to indulge in a personal tangent to explain my attraction to the cover: I've always been kind of subconsciously obsessed with Italy. I had a ton of Italian classmates growing up, and they were always having big, fun family get-togethers with delicious food. My (small) town even had an annual summer Italian festival with red, white, and green fireworks! I distinctly remember doing a "what's your nationalities?" project –and being one of the only kids in the class who wasn't even an ounce Italian! Third grade is so unfair.

Flash forward 15 or so years (note: each of those years was also unfair ;). My boyfriend, Stephen, is Italian and went to Italy five or so years ago with his family. He still regularly raves about the Amalfi Coast! So, I figured if a book took me there for a while, I wouldn't be mad.

Here's a newly-framed map hanging in our apartment to prove my Italy adoration.

And Beautiful Ruins did allow me to escape into very different worlds than the one I live in. It opens back in 1962 in a tiny town south of Cinque Terra with an unlikely encounter between Pasquale Tursi, an unassuming, but handsome Italian man, and Dee Moray, a dying American actress. The scene is beautiful and memorable; it really hooks you in effectively. (I read the author's notes post-book, and he said he actually thinks he re-wrote the first sentence of the book about 300 times! 300!)

My favorite passage from that scene

From there it explores many different story lines in many different settings - from modern-day Hollywood (where we meet producer Michael Deane and assistant Claire) to World War 2  in Italy (where we meet Alvis Bender) to old-time Hollywood in Italy (Dee, Pasquale, and old-time Michael), and the list goes on. Walter creatively plays with time throughout the book. You know the endings of characters before their beginnings, you find out someone died then meet them chapters later, and so on. This book is not chronological!

It was very pleasant to read next to Lake Mendota with an Oberon

The story-telling voices change with the settings. You're suddenly reading the first chapter of Alvis's book, a script Dee is rehearsing, a rejected excerpt Michael's book. It certainly keeps things interesting, but, call me old-fashioned, I generally like to curl up with a book and just hang out with one fascinating person for a while. Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye, Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower, etc. (And yes, based on those examples, it's safe to conclude I mainly like hanging out with troubled teenage boys. They get me.)

I just didn't feel that connected with any of the cast in Beautiful Ruins. Probably because there were so many, in so many places, over so many time periods, telling their stories in so many ways. It took Walters 15 years to write this book (15 years!), so I can understand how he wanted to experiment with different story-telling methods over that time. (For comparison, his The Financial Life of Poets took him ~10 months.)

I felt naturally more interested in some character than others (thought Claire deserved more time, thought Alvis had too much) - so when I got halfway through and we were being introduced to another person and setting (Struggling musician slash recovering addict? We're going to Seattle and then the UK?) I just felt a little jostled.

Helen Schulman in this New York Times Book Review raves about the book, calling it a "high-wire feat of bravura storytelling" and Walter "a talented and original writer." I don't disagree with the latter claim. Walter includes thought-provoking, relatable insights throughout the book - coining life a "glorious catastrophe," positing that American faces always have "that openness, that stubborn belief in possibility, a quality that...even the youngest Italians lacked," and so on.

I particularly enjoyed a passage where Pasquale's mother claims that happiness happens when your desires and what's right align, so it behooves you to work on closing that gap. Different approaches to the ever-allusive "happiness" intrigue me.

If you're into multiple plots across multiple time periods told in several different voices, then it's right up your alley. Since that's not my cup of tea, I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars on my newly born unscientific randomly made-up ranking system. (How legit does that sound?) Still a solid read, just not a personal fave. Let me know if you want to borrow my copy! And if you do read it or have already read it, I'd love to hear your opinion. I think I'm going to tackle another memoir next - I truly appreciate all of the recommendations I received!