Whattup, Mom

Monday, May 13, 2013

Yesterday was national post "My mom is the best ever" on facebook, so you guys, let's talk statistics.

I wish some honest child had posted, "My mom is the 900th best mom ever" because, considering there's billions of moms in the world, we're still talking better than top 0.001% and that's legitimately impressive. I'm going to assume the 900th best mom in the world packages chips into individual zip lock bags for daily school lunches and never misses a sporting event.

I spent my Mother's Day hanging out with my boyfriend in Arkansas. I know what you're thinking "Worst child ever" but, I did send a card and gave my mom a call, so let's talk statistics...

Also, notably, my mom spent her Mother's Day moving my middle sister out of her college house. So, suddenly I'm at least above one other child out there on the child charts. :) kidding, Grace.

I decided against posting a status yesterday because everyone was doing it and I'm a total free spirit ;) But, if we're being honest, my mom is giving the number one mom in the world a run for her money, and I can mathematically prove that through examples. I was a statistics TA in college, so don't question me.

First example: pie.

Julie C. makes baking look as easy as sweeping the kitchen floor. So my whole life I thought baking must be a breeze. Then I tried baking and may have ended up sobbing on my flour-coated kitchen floor. Homemade pie crust is HARDER THAN MOST THINGS. And my mom will do it while helping one of my sisters do algebra, another apply to college, all the while teaching me how this whole credit-card thing works.

If I inherit a quarter of her kitchen skills I will consider my future family lucky. My mom's chocolate chip cookies are legendary on any team that I (or any of my sisters) have ever played on. Even throughout college, she'd always mail me an entire tuppeware container of fresh-baked tollhouses and tell me to "share them with the team!" (which I usually did, if they made it out of my dorm room.) Which brings me to my second example...

Example 2: taking "soccer mom" to a whole new level.

One of the funniest part of the whole 2008 "Sarah Palin should maybe be Vice President of our country" pitch was how they branded her as a soccer mom. I would always just look at her and think not impressed. My mom was a basketball, volleyball, gymnastics, track and field, cross country, and softball mom. Three sports at the collegiate level. Driving hours (and hours and hours) to support each of her daughters from one weekend to the next for years (and years!)

Oh, and she was a cheerleading mom for one year. But we try not to mention that in public, and hide it as one of our dark family secrets. Thanks, Becky.

Example 3: everything else

This is the part in my blog where I realize perhaps arguing about how great my mom is should have been a Masters' Thesis, rather than a blog post, which is made to be read in one sitting.

So, before I make everyone else in the world jealous, I'll wrap things up. Thanks for everything, Mom! I've learned so much from you over the years, and can't thank you enough. Happy Belated Mother's Day! I love you!

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