signed, sealed, delivered

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Is it just me, or is getting, sorting, and processing mail as hard as flying out of Madison in the middle of storm Draco?

snow storm pictures scattered throughout post. this one titled "the day the price of underground parking became worth it"

When Becky came to visit in September, she forced me to open mail......from May. Every sales promotion had expired by at least 30 days by the time I mustered the energy to open the envelope. In theory, I may have even owed the electric company hundreds and hundreds of dollars at one point.

Whatever. The never shut off our power! Truly, it's the little victories.

average siting of a cactus in a snow storm

horse made of horseshoes

I hope I'm not the only one who goes through this terribly daunting task on a quarterly basis, when the scattered stacks of envelopes start interfering with my eating space. How can I pour the entire bag of shredded cheese on my soup if these envelopes are making it impossible for me to put my spoon down?

Don't get me wrong, I also hate emails. And particularly sales clerks asking me for my email address. I'll give you my zip code if I must but, listen lady, I already get daily emails from Groupon, Orbitz, American Airlines, Spotify, Amazon, and the President of the United States, thank you very much.  {Note: I recently unsubscribed from a bunch of vendors and it was life altering. If you're looking for a super easy new years resolution that doesn't involve standing up, look no further!} Also note: I'm not talking about work emails because blogging and crying are a bad combo.

some serious icicles
One time the check-out lady at New York & Company was pressing me for my email address as if possessing my gmail account was going to make or break the company's year end sales.  I looked her dead in the eye and said "It is my life goal to receive as few emails as possible."

I know what you're thinking -- why do I keep reading this blog? She's just so ambitious and it's just too intimidating.  Just remember, not everyone can shoot for the stars in terms of life goals the way I do. {Also, let me know if you can think of anymore seated resolution ideas because I totally need one.}

Anyway, NY&Co lady gawked at me like I was unworthy of my newly purchased floral scarf and silently passed me my receipt. Truly, it's the little victories.

a blanket of snow covering Wisconsin

I know what you're thinking now too. Well, what is your proposed solution for mail, then, if neither the postal service nor email is good enough? When are you going to stop complaining and offer solutions?

To which I respond - the answer is obvious:

Merry Christmas, Homies!

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