Royal Happenings

Note: I wrote this a couple of weeks ago - but was too lazy to put the pictures in it. So, this counts as my "July post" even though I didn't get my act together until August :) Also, all the time references (e.g. "today" isn't actually today) are wrong, but I'm not going to fix them or that would take another 2 weeks.

Being always in the know (read: on twitter), I obviously am aware that a little heir was just born across the pond. While the Brits may be celebrating a royal milestone, I recently had a royal experience myself: I went to the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota.

Or, as I like to call it "The Taj Mahal of the Midwest."

It's obviously hard to talk about anything except for the corn palace since my visit there, but I don't get why people think it's such a big deal that other people are making a big deal about the royal baby. You follow? It's a baby! It's exciting! I found out a co-worker's wife was having a baby today and I got visibly excited! I haven't even seen the co-worker in 8 months.

Also, every time I hear of someone having a baby I get excited that it's one more female going to be a mom who isn't me. Not that I don't want to reproduce in the future,  I am just not to the point where I think to myself - "Hey, I've totally mastered this whole 'life' thing. I should teach someone else how to do it!"

For example, I can't keep my cell phone charged. So I'm not sure how that speaks to my ability to raise a living, breathing, contributing member of society.

Also, the thought of paying my electricity bill drives me into a state of panic. This state of panic occurs monthly, but no matter how many times I try, I can't get auto-pay to work.

So, I think, before you decide that you should be another human's guide in life - ask yourself a couple of key questions: Is your car registration up to date? Have you ever independently gone to the dentist without your mom scheduling the appointment? Did you just eat Wheat Thins, cream cheese, and 6 packs of fruitsnacks for dinner?

And if you answer "no" "no" "yes" maybe you should give it a couple years. This 3-question method could drastically improve our overpopulation issue.

Back to the corn palace - a place I aspire to some day return to. For those of you who don't know what the Mitchell Corn Palace is, first of all, do you actually live in a cave with no wireless? Second off, it's exactly what it sounds like.

A physical monument of hope in central South Dakota covered in murals made entirely out of corn.

Example A: Mount Rushmore Made Out of Corn

Begging the question, why see the stone version?

They change these murals annually - so this might have to be a perennial trip! (If not more frequent)

Exhibit B: Corn Athletes

for you, Fran!

for you, Stephen!

Exhibit C: Nativity Scene, corn style

The best part of the Corn Palace is they keep reminded you that it was one of a kind. Lots of the corn-cessories boasted that it was the "World's Only Corn Palace." Truly, it's a shame their aren't more man-made corn-dedicated tributes.