Monday, August 6, 2012

Why even have the death penalty when you could force criminals to take early ass flights with crying babies and tight connections?

Even worse, when you get to your connecting gate and your plane is delayed because of "maintenance." Honestly, I'd rather hear "hurricane" over the loud speaker than "maintenance." At least you know a hurricane will pass.

Delays for maintenance are your cue to find another flight or, better yet, method of transportation. Maybe it's finally time to take up horseback riding. Michelle made it look fun in Full House, before the whole traumatic series-ending accident. (Is too much FH knowledge embarassing?)

Is this so-called maintenance delay really worth the next 4 hours of your life where, every half hour they'll come over the loud speaker screaming about another 30 minute push back until HEY-OH it's 11:55pm, there's no plane, and spending Christmas Eve in a Detroit hotel isn't that bad, is it? Here's a $6 meal voucher to compensate. I'm still bitter about that, DELTA.

I understand in the intereview they told me I'd be traveling and I said I liked travel. But you know what, I also said I was organized.

The long-awaited honest opinion on whether or not I like traveling is finally here: "I suck at driving, and do I look like I fit on an airplane?!"

New addition to my bucket list: fly a round trip without banging my head at some point.

I know this blog post is coming off as whiney and complainy but I just consulted my calendar and I've traveled for work 15 of the last 18 weeks. You should do that without complaining, and when you do, I will erect a statue in your honor and put it in the Parthenon because you're clearly a divine being, and too bad polytheism isn't all the rage anymore or we would totally all worship you. And you could bless us with on-time flights, short security lines, close connecting gates, and an endless supply of Biscoffs.

My favorite part of flying! :) Right when you thought I could go a whole post without mentioning desserts.

1 comment:

  1. my favorite thing is to request milk when they give me those cookies. people look at me in such a way that it's clear they're not as awesome as I am because they have never thought of doing that before. And I feel ya on the rest of it.