The Elder Wand

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Sometimes the best time to write is when you feel as if you have nothing to say, because, if you do end up saying something, anything, it's a refreshing experience, as you've exceeded your own expectations.

It's kind of like the one day of the week in college when I didn't wear sweatpants. Everyone in class would be all "Oh, my gosh, Joyce, you look so gorgeous in those jeans." Just kidding, that never happened. I went to Bucknell.

If you didn't wear a dress, pearls, and carry a $250 bag to an 8 am class you better reference your summer home or we're all totally going to assume you're white trash. However, when I did wear skinny jeans and my hair down rather than the Nike sweats-ponytail failproof combo, all my teammates would eagerly ask "What's the occasion!?" So that was essentially the same thing as getting hoardes of classmate compliments.

Speaking of my alma mater, I posted this pic spring of my senior year and recently was reading through my old blog posts (duh! you should too ;) -  so I made this my background:

I have gotten 4+ compliments on how pretty the picture is from random customers/co-workers. Even if I'm wearing sweats! The campus was breathtaking in the spring.

Speaking of college, my baby sister went to school Monday. I never felt old when I graduated, but the fact that the youngest is off to college makes me feel ancient. Like, a fossil. If she's in college, I can't be too far off from retirement. I remember distinctly WHEN SHE WAS BORN. It's one of those things about being the oldest child - it is a surreal feeling remembering someone's birth (since you of course can't remember your own) and then watching them go to college. Of course, if you're a parent reading this I'm sure you're thinking "You have no idea."

Brings me to another point: You know you're old when your friends start having kids on purpose. I mean, when did facebook turn into document-life-milestones-including-engagements-weddings-and-babies-book?

No fear though, I'm still using FB exclusively to post stupid statuses and blog posts. Like this one. You're welcome.

(p.s. The title of this post was originally "Elder" due to feeling old with Baby leaving the nest, but obviously that was kind of weird so I made it into a random Harry Potter reference. Equally, if not more, weird - but unarguably better. Thus, more evidence of my hypothesis "Harry Potter references are better than non-Harry Potter references.")


Monday, August 6, 2012

Why even have the death penalty when you could force criminals to take early ass flights with crying babies and tight connections?

Even worse, when you get to your connecting gate and your plane is delayed because of "maintenance." Honestly, I'd rather hear "hurricane" over the loud speaker than "maintenance." At least you know a hurricane will pass.

Delays for maintenance are your cue to find another flight or, better yet, method of transportation. Maybe it's finally time to take up horseback riding. Michelle made it look fun in Full House, before the whole traumatic series-ending accident. (Is too much FH knowledge embarassing?)

Is this so-called maintenance delay really worth the next 4 hours of your life where, every half hour they'll come over the loud speaker screaming about another 30 minute push back until HEY-OH it's 11:55pm, there's no plane, and spending Christmas Eve in a Detroit hotel isn't that bad, is it? Here's a $6 meal voucher to compensate. I'm still bitter about that, DELTA.

I understand in the intereview they told me I'd be traveling and I said I liked travel. But you know what, I also said I was organized.

The long-awaited honest opinion on whether or not I like traveling is finally here: "I suck at driving, and do I look like I fit on an airplane?!"

New addition to my bucket list: fly a round trip without banging my head at some point.

I know this blog post is coming off as whiney and complainy but I just consulted my calendar and I've traveled for work 15 of the last 18 weeks. You should do that without complaining, and when you do, I will erect a statue in your honor and put it in the Parthenon because you're clearly a divine being, and too bad polytheism isn't all the rage anymore or we would totally all worship you. And you could bless us with on-time flights, short security lines, close connecting gates, and an endless supply of Biscoffs.

My favorite part of flying! :) Right when you thought I could go a whole post without mentioning desserts.