And now for everyone's favorite sport: love.

The Bachelor Season 348* premiered last night {spoiler alert!} and I actually just accidentally watched it (wasn't planning on it), but now I'm hooked for a number of reasons.

1. What was twitter before The Bachelor?
2. What was The Bachelor before twitter?
3. What came first, twitter or The Bachelor?

The world will never know.

*actually season 19.

More than reignite my love of the 140-character insult, the 2-hour premier last night also did something else: it made me rather angry. It started as a slow, subtle anger, buried beneath usual, shallow thoughts that occur on a show that's literally designed for the national judgment of 30 (desperately-seeking-love) girls.

She wore cowboy boots!
She wore a pig snout!
Look at those tattoos!
Does that dress even cover her butt?

And other profound realizations occurred throughout the show, but it was only today when I was chatting with a friend on the phone re: our favorite Monday night sport post-NFL season that it hit me: last night was a pretty offensive episode when it comes to weight/size of women.

Ok, ok, I know, I know, I know, girls on The Bachelor are ALWAYS skinny. Farmer Chris requested skinny girls. That's his preference. I KNOW.

*image

But, still, let's do some exploring of the show. The show wasn't 100% full of skinny women.

There was a group of women from Chris's home town being interviewed as part of the Live audience. They weren't all skinny. Which was fine, but they seemed to be there as an obvious juxtaposition. As if to say "Oh, and as Chris hangs out with super models in a fantasy suite, let's show you what women look like where he comes from." The (obvious) comparison left a bad taste in my mouth. Did those seemingly nice women get the same stylists, hair, make-up, and budget as all the girls on the show did to prep for the evening? I think not.

Chris also made many comments about how few choices he had in Iowa. How his whole life he had "So much time and so few women; and now he had so many women and so little time." Him dissing his Iowa options of women just added insult to injury. (I did live in Iowa until I was 7 after all ;)

Then there was Bo, the only contestant that wasn't thin, whose job was "Plus-sized Model." Bo got about 15 seconds of face time with Chris where she's talking about (wait for it) eating and said of her modeling career, "I gotta keep my curves."

Bo went home rose-less, unfortunately, but I'd like to think she and Chris in real life talked about something other than food. And, I'd like to think you can be curvy, and have meat on your bones, without having to mention it. Like the elephant in the room is your weight, and you must mention that your career depends on it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming the girl. I'm thinking Bo had plenty of things to say that didn't involve her own curves, but when the show got edited, someone thought their conversation needed to be solely focused on addressing her weight.

And, furthermore, when you're selecting girls for this show, I'd like to think you had plenty to choose from who were a little overweight, and maybe had a job that didn't require them to be as such. And maybe had a job other than "model." It's like the producers were saying "Yes, she's big, but she's a model, so maybe she has a chance on this show."

AND I'd like to think that you didn't need to choose 29 super skinny girls and 1 big girl. Maybe you could have an in-between sized girl. A medium sized girl. A very tall girl. A very short girl. I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with being skinny (I've always been pretty thin, personally, but extra tall), I'm just suggesting that maybe size could just be a little more diversified on this show so girls who don't fit the mold of "The Bachelor contestant" don't feel unnecessarily pressured into fitting that mold.

I think women of all sizes can "find love." However, right now, I don't think women of all sizes can find love on reality T.V. The good news is, since I believe really hardly anyone can find love on reality T.V., I guess they aren't missing much.

p.s. This post obviously doesn't even address the total and complete lack of racial diversity. But I guess my point is, this show isn't even showing diverse WHITE girls. It's absolutely homogenous, which, in my opinion, is a very bad thing.

A Book in Review: Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Hope you all had great weekends! I spent mine going to yoga on Friday, skiing on Saturday, and going to yoga on Sunday! On a scale of endlessly lying on the couch to running a marathon, this was closer to a marathon weekend for me as far as activity levels! (Though I use "marathon" as a metaphor, as I'm no where close to running anything over 3 miles long.) Despite all the exercise, I still had time to read. I'm almost done with Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail and I'm loving it just as I loved Strayed's Tiny Beautiful Things

My mom has already finished Wild, and actually whipped up a review, so I thought I'd share it here with you all as I wrap up reading. Enjoy!

**

Cheryl Strayed’s solo hiking of the Pacific Crest Trail in Wild takes place “back in the day” when you planned your trip from a guide book and sporadic contact with the outside world was through pay phones and the U.S. postal service.  Having decided to hike the trail so that she could reflect on her mother’s death, her divorce, and her family’s disintegration, she ends up being consumed with just hiking the trail and all of the ensuing physical suffering.  This is no walk in the park.  It’s not even a day hike.  With boots too small and a backpack she dubs “Monster,” every part of her body hurts.  She has to cross rockslides, downed trees, and treacherous patches of ice and snow, and encounters various wildlife including bears and rattlesnakes.  Hiking some stretches with over twenty pounds of water, she still runs out!  No iPod to listen to, she keeps herself entertained by mashing remembered songs together, but often just ends up moaning in pain while she plods along, longing for nothing but food and water and to be able to put her backpack down. 

Definitely plot-driven, her descriptions of the scenery are lacking, but since she has to focus on the uneven trail, she really can’t admire the gorgeous views anyway.  This deficiency in the book will undoubtedly be made up for in the movie.  While on the trail she realizes how extremely limited her choices are and how she simply just has to do what she really doesn’t want to do.  The only two options she has are to either go back in the direction she came from, or to go forward in the direction she intended to go.  There really aren’t any other choices, and without drugs, alcohol, or sex as distractions, at least not for the majority of the time, she finally forgives herself for her past mistakes, learns from them, and moves on.

*image via @reesewitherspoon on instagram

She admits she is lucky to have safely pulled this off (and I don’t mean her toenails), and recognizes her camping experiences and austere lifestyle growing up provided some good preparation.  As an inexperienced hiker, though, I’m amazed she was even able to actually stay on the trail.  Cheryl Strayed, who automatically says “yes” instead of “no” to almost all situations, is the antithesis of me.  She was gutsy to even think of attempting this hike, and I enjoyed reading her experiences, especially since it turned out well.  This book doesn’t prompt me to consider a long trek, but does make me want to see the movie.  I’ll stick with bike riding on well-marked, flat asphalt trails, with the occasional scurrying chipmunk.  I’m resolved to text my daughters daily, and to hopefully plan a trip to Crater Lake.  We can enjoy a nice day hike, and if we meet any trekkers, offer them a shower, wash their clothes, and swap books. 

**

In short, if you're thinking of binge reading before heading to the theaters: do it, do it, do it! The book is addicting and moving. I've adored Reese Witherspoon since her days as Elle Woods, and am looking forward to watching her portray an author I've recently come to admire. But first, got to go finish this mesmerizing memoir!

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p.s. A post with a collection of inspiring Cheryl Strayed quotes.
p.p.s. Reese Witherspoon is my favorite celebrity instagrammer.
p.p.p.s. I love reading book reviews, and am happy to share guest reviews! Feel free to e-mail me your reviews and we can work together to share them! (Contact info at the bottom of my about page.)

Friday Field Trip: The Phipps Conservatory

I decided to share start sharing things I do out and about around town, since many of us are at the age where our social lives are not planned for us by teachers and dependent upon signed permission slips. But there's no reason I can't go on personal field trips even if I don't board a yellow bus to get there.

When I spent some time in Pittsburgh over the holidays, my mom, her friend, and my middle sister decided to check out Phipps Conservatory! Phipps Conservatory is right next to Carnegie Mellon's campus and Schenley Park, which isn't too far from where I grew up, but I had still never been there.

The building from the outside.

The funny thing about going to conservatories is you get to ask people if they know what a conservatory is - and many don't! This conversation happened between my sister and me when we were literally walking from our car to the conservatory:

Sister: What's a conservatory?
Me: A place to look at plants.
Sister: Oh, I thought it was a place to look at stars.
Me: No, that's an observatory!

But she wasn't the only one! Another friend thought it was a "place you go up high to look at views" and another thought it was something to do with music. Haven't you people ever played Clue? It was Mrs. White in the Conservatory with a Candlestick. Clue is the only reason I previously knew what a conservatory is, but as of now I've actually been in a beautiful one. Enjoy the pictures:

The flowers were just beautiful:

The even had a special holiday display going on including plant-made snowmen:

this snowman bride is kind of hilarious.

and the snowman ring bearer (obviously).

a very festive garden.

A pretty tree outside and me looking awkward!

They had special dedicate rooms to different types of plants:

The dessert room was one of my favorites. Doesn't the huge plant look like it's something out of science fiction? I felt like it was going grab my leg and violently drag me into a ditch. :)

They had an orchid room. I think orchids are often pretty and often really weird looking!

The fern room was one of my favorites - I love all the green!

If you're live in an almost-tundra like me and you're thinking to yourself "I don't know what I'm doing this weekend but it better not involve going outdoors" then I encourage you to look up your local conservatory, wander around the exotic plants, and dream of summer. Have a great weekend!

2015: A Year of Compassion

At the end of each year (in the calm between the Christmas and New Years storms), I always find myself reflecting on all that has happened in the past year and eagerly looking into the new year. This is because I'm creative and unique. I'm certain that nobody else does this. ;)

2014 was an exciting year for me: I completed a triathlon, moved in with my boyfriend, got a cat, and quit my job after over 3 years as a software implementer to focus on writing! It was also an exciting year for rejoyce: I started writing book reviews and sharing book recommendations, sharing my mom's recipes, and created my 101 in 1001 list.

But, as the officially state word for Wisconsin says: FORWARD. (I don't know if this is actually the official state word but it's emblazoned on a long wooden table at the Starbucks next to the Capitol building, so probs.)

This photo is not of Wisconsin.

What will 2015 bring? What should I do? What shouldn't I do? I find it exhausting thinking of all the different "life-changing" options the next 365 days hold.

Should I drink 8 glasses of water a day? Stop swearing? Finally stop biting my nails? Randomly give up meat? Or gluten? Or candy? Should I actually only consume kale?

Like a typical ex-athlete, I also struggle with fitness goals. Should I run two times a week? Or work out two times a day? Run a marathon? Do another tri? Complete an ironman? Yoga every morning? Become a yoga teacher? Stretch before bed every night? Successfully do one pull-up?

Phew. The questions are tiring, and those don't even cover personal relationship, financial, or professional development goals. Not to mention how many books I want to read!

(Both photos by Stephen of Sanibel beaches.)

I like goal-setting (see: 101 in 1001 list), but do not like the idea of mapping out your life plan, as it often leads to let-downs, and also hinders spontaneous opportunities. And, as much as New Year's Resolutions could lead to good changes, I will likely eat way more candy than kale in 2015. Also, if the previous 26 years are any indicator of the future, my nails will, sadly, continue to be bitten.

So, I decided to toss concrete resolutions aside and focus on one theme for the year: compassion. Specifically, I hope to widen my circle of compassion.

Compassion might seem simple, but I think it's a more complex and layered topic than it initially looks. I've done a little research: I watched this TED talk on Expanding your circle of Compassion and this one on Why Aren't We More Compassionate?, and read this article written by a struggling writer which encourages praying for everyone (even strangers) as a way to find peace within yourself.

I admit I have a lot to learn regarding compassion, and even more to learn about actually applying it to my life, but I think it's a nice focus for the forthcoming year. I'll leave you with a quote:

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe," a part limited in time and space.  He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.  This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.  Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security." - Albert Einstein.

Wishing you all a wonderful start to 2015! xx

DIY: NYE Bauble Necklace

My youngest sister, Janice, got me a very creative Christmas present: everything I needed to make a Simple Bauble Necklace in this SLOABN youtube video. Still, even though she condensed it down to a 5-minute tutorial, I was unsure if I could do it.

I'm not crafty! My twin sister, Becky, was always the crafty one. I was always the nerdy one. But, it turns out that when everything is handed to you with a bow on top, and there's a youtube video with awesome detailed step-by-step instructions, miracles can happen. And it's that time of the year for miracles, amirite?

So let's talk about how you can take a bowl of beads and transform it into a cute bauble necklace, perfect for adding some sparkle to NYE. (I mean, champagne is probably actually the perfect way to do that, to be honest. But just go with it.)

WHAT YOU NEED:

1. Beads! Our end-product necklace had 48 beads on it. I think it could have had 60, but we had a limiting factor (we didn't buy enough pins!) which brings us to...

2. Head pins. You need 1 per bead. These were our limiting resource, as we only had 48. I think 48 is sufficient but a necklace with ~60 beads would probably look nicer! Also you thread one of these through every bead, so they need to have a big enough "end" that they don't slip right through. We sadly couldn't use our blue beads because the pins were too small/holes on the beads were too big.

3. Wire Cutter Pliers & Needle Nose/Round Nose Pliers. Necessary. And no, I didn't already own these - I also got them for Christmas. My sister got me a Jewelry Tool Set with all this (and more) for only ~$10.

4. Jump Rings. We bought these in a pack of 85 and that was more than enough. You need one for every 2-3 beads.

5. Large Chain. To tie it all together.

6. Toggle Clasp. For connectivity. I used a Tiffany-style clasp.

You should be able to find everything at Michaels!

WHAT YOU DO:

1. Make Each Bead Its Own Charm. Do this by threading a head pin through the bead, cutting off excess pin, and then using pliers (round nosed worked best for me) to make a little loop. This step takes the longest.

How the "charms" should look:

Note: there is one blue bead. That's the ONLY blue bead the pin fit in! So, we ended up only using green, black, and sparkly white. (we didn't use the pearl white beads in the final product, though I think a bauble of entirely pearl white would look nice!)

2. Use Jump Rings to loop together beads. We made "baubles" of 2 beads and 3 beads. We were able to just pry the jump rings open with our hands, but in the video she recommends getting even stronger jump rings that you need pliers to pull apart. That would take a lot longer! (Though undoubtedly make a more durable product.)

3. Chain together Baubles by connecting Jump Rings. We did a pattern of 3 beads > 2 beads > 3 beads > 2 beads, and so on. You just link the first jump ring to the second, and the second to the third, etc.

4. After ~6-7 inches of bauble is made, link to chain.

5. Attach chain to Toggles at the end. 

6. Wear and Enjoy!!

Trust me when I say I am an amateur DIY-er. As in, I don't own a hot glue gun, amateur. But I did this with my sister, thought it was quite fun, and am pleased with how the necklace turned out! I actually can't believe I made it! Next time I might try to make one with 100% of one color bead (like sparkly white, maybe). Though, I am feeling the unofficial Slytherin theme of the one above. (ha!) I'd love to see your finished products if you try it - just tag me on instagram so I can see them! Go forth and bauble. :)

May Your Days Be Merry and Bright

Tomorrow Stephen and I drive to Milwaukee to fly to Fort Myers (and then drive to Sanibel) to spend time with his family for Christmas! As always, we have quite a few things to wrap up (including presents) before our holiday travels begin.

First and foremost: tonight we drop Tywin off at a friend's apartment! That's right, my little boy is spending the holidays with another family *sniff*sniff* But seriously, we are so grateful my friend Melissa and her husband agreed to watch him. You know what they say, it takes a village :) Fingers crossed he is a well-behaved kitten, as we've raised him to be.  I only hope their lamps don't have any dangly switches, because he's taken to knocking ours over lately. May they accept my early apology for the potential desolation of their Christmas tree.

photo by Stephen that captures his inner essence

From Sanibel, I'm flying to the 'burgh (HOW ABOUT THEM STEELERS? Playoffs, baby.) to hang with my fam and go to a wedding on Saturday (yay!) and then I'm back in Madison for the New Year. New Year's Eve can get a lot of hype with crazy parties and anticipated midnight kisses, but it is our five-year anniversary (of dating) so Stephen and I will likely do a relatively low-key date night. I can't believe it's been five years! More importantly, the new year will also mark the 4-year anniversary of this blog! (kidding about the more importantly!!) (but it really has been 4 years.) I'm very thankful for everyone who's been reading rejoyce from the very beginning - and for new readers too! I've been doing a lot of thinking about what the ideal direction of this blog is, and I hope 2015 brings nothing but improvements :)

I am not sure how much I'll be blogging over the "holiday break" because I will probably be too busy stuffing my face with pie and whatnot. But I will likely be instagramming throughout (I can never resist a pie pic) - so feel free to follow along! Wishing everyone a wonderful and relaxed end to 2014 - and an amazing start to 2015! :) 

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p.s.  I really enjoyed this A Cup of Jo post on being single over the holidays - which refers to NYE as "the most dreaded of holidays." Even though I'm in a relationship, I can totally see where she's coming from. NYE = way too much hype.

p.p.s. I forgot how much I love business books! I just started reading Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future by PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel and I can't put it down.

p.p.p.s. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!

Weekly Favorites: Have a Festive Weekend

Happy (almost) weekend friends! For those who are traveling holiday-style this weekend, stay safe. For those who are shopping frantically, stay sane. For those who are eating 15 candy canes a day (just me?), stay legit.

Here a few of my favorite links from around the web this week! (And, as all of my weekly favorite posts go, this just means I found them this week. Could be, you know, months old at this point ;)

1. How awesome are these Rifle Paper Co. covers of Little Women,Heidi,A Little Princess, and Anne of Green Gables? BRB need to go read all four of those books ASAP.

2. This Jewelry Gift Guide is spot-on. I especially love the simple gold studs. (And all are under $50!)

3. Into vs. In To: this is probably boring for everyone but me, but it's my blog (muahaha.) But really, I edited our January magazine at my internship this week (phew) and spent some time figuring this one out. (I also ran into this one and this one. Grammar is fun, amirite? No? Okay.)

4. A Candy Bowl is Never Overkill (word, homies) and more tips for holiday entertaining. Though I am a big proponent of year-round candy bowls.

5. "North Korea is not funny. It is hard to imagine a comparable comedy emerging about quirky Islamic State slavers or amusing and 'complicated' genocidaires in the Central African Republic. The suffering in question is happening now, as I write." I thought The Interview looked like a stupid movie, and wasn't surprised it got canceled. But this article gave me lots more to think about regarding the terrible situation that is North Korea.

6. Add Norway to the list of places I want to go to! (It's worth clicking through the whole slide show.)

7. Speaking of Norway, did you know Mayim Bialik (Big Bang Theory Star) Hates Frozen? I liked it overall, but think she has interesting points re: feminism. (Anna and Elsa do have incredibly tiny noses and incredibly big eyes!) My actual biggest gripe with the movie was such a small cast; I like more characters. (I'm also twice as old as the target market I suppose ;)

8. Speaking of Frozen, ICYMI, this is the best Frozen headline ever.

9. I'm going to a holiday party tomorrow night, and if the best Christmas song of our time at least 15 times, I'm going to be disappointed.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend-before-Christmas! xx